British Gal,Confused about Vancity

I've been here 2 months,and other than the housing costs I love the area. Lots to see and do,nature wise. festivals,art shows etc. But making female friends and meeting guys is so hard. I smile at guys,and they don't respond. I go and talk to them,and they seem confused and don't respond well. They never come up and talk to me. The women are no better,I've been out with some from work and all they do is complain about guys. I've seen guys look at them,then just turn away. I had read about this before I came here but didn't really believe it,but now I see it's true. I'll keep trying

17 Comments

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Futile

Jun 25, 2018 at 12:07pm

This will be a futile exercise for you.
It won’t get better and after a while you will just give up trying to make it work trying to meet people in Vancouver.

Mitch

Jun 25, 2018 at 12:11pm

You go girl!

18 8Rating: +10

Trust me

Jun 25, 2018 at 12:49pm

The UK is way more open than Vancouver, let alone most other places of the world.

Vancouver's a bit of an anomaly, but it's several things:
-Housing Prices
-Cost of living/lack of jobs, and high degrees of corruption
-Homelessness/drugs (LOTS of gangs out here)
-Extreme doses of politically correct culture
-Large numbers of narcissists/assorted assholes/social climbers (rich or otherwise) that have moved here, expecting it to be "the best place on Earth".

The result, as a whole, is a very insular culture with almost zero sense of trust, respect, or community. People tunnel in and keep to people they know really well, and the result for the socially active is a cutthroat culture based on status, cliques, etc. People have been affected on a spiritual level here, and as a result, you might find that many places around the city feel "soulless" and "empty". That's because despair and pain permeates this place, as crazy as it sounds. People have sort of given up.

People are also scared of crime. Lots of areas of Vancouver aren't exactly safe (downtown eastside, etc), so trust is definitely affected in public, and there's some truth to strangers not saying 'hi' to each other here for good reason.

As far as dating goes, most people know that the young people of Vancouver are just passing through. Very few stay due to the housing prices (want a condo in Abbotsford after experiencing the city? Don't think so.), and small town attitudes are very prevalent. Long term relationships out here are affected due to back-of-the-mind doubts daters have about the future.

So, you basically end up with a shallow, transient dating culture since everybody is moving around, and not usually sure of what they want to do or where the relationship is going.

In my opinion, your choices are basically this, OP.

1) Drink the Kool-Aid, buy into the arrogant "Best Place on Earth" mentality, get an (overpriced) apartment, put on your armour and pick up your battle-axe, and navigate the cutthroat culture of Vancouver.

2) Move to a real city and find somewhere sane where people are actually open to real connection and not afraid for whatever reason, where your money goes farther.

If you're here on a work visa, I'd recommend Montreal or Toronto. Seriously, OP. don't waste your time here. Don't live in Liverpool when you could be experiencing London, know what I'm saying?

Just a man

Jun 25, 2018 at 12:52pm

Guys here are ALL losers, you should know this already. Except for those who aren't, but they're all already taken. So, good luck! :)))))))

On a serious note, if a gal would come and talk to me randomly I'd also be confused, shocked, I'd look around for the candid cameras etc. Don't you know girls should never approach first?!? So when this happens once every blue moon of course men will be shocked...

Anonymous

Jun 25, 2018 at 1:41pm

Please give the place 6 months before you start to complain.

Sheesh!

8 20Rating: -12

@Trust me

Jun 25, 2018 at 2:07pm

Very well said. And OP, I do not know why you would come here from lovely Britain, I would do anything to move there, but your government will not have me.

20 8Rating: +12

registereduser

Jun 25, 2018 at 3:24pm

Look a little older....the younger guys in BC are a little stunted in their emotional development.

16 8Rating: +8

@registereduser

Jun 25, 2018 at 4:51pm

And the woman aren't?.

16 8Rating: +8

It's just different

Jun 25, 2018 at 5:41pm

English men like to flirt and are easy going about asking girls out. They don't mind if you reject them as it's part of dating. Sadly, you won't find the same attitude here as people seem to be scared for life if they get rejected. Women just as much as men. There's no fun in dating and no game.
My advice if you stay.. date a guy from overseas. He will appreciate your effort and wont be weird.

12 5Rating: +7

@You can't win either way

Jun 25, 2018 at 6:00pm

You keep posting the same rubbish attempting to blame the #metoo movement for the fact that you can't get a date.

So I will say it. Again. Unwanted touching, exposing your ween, sexual comments and innuendo --- all of these are harassment, not talking to a woman on the street and asking how her day was.

Saying hi to a woman is not sexual harassment but I suppose you will continue to use this as an excuse.

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