If I could do it again

I would have had kids in my 20s and been like "fuck my career". Career just ruins you, mentally, and you have less time for the things that matter. I listened to the kool-aid, which was to go to university, don't have kids, and concentrate on a career. Worst idea, ever. I think that people can see that listening to the government and being docile loyal political servants to them is not working out for them.

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Anonymous

Jun 17, 2018 at 11:28pm

I'm glad you discovered this about work before you discovered it about kids.

5 6Rating: -1

Anonymous

Jun 17, 2018 at 11:50pm

Yes, I hear this a lot. It's better to have your kids first, and get them off to school so you don't have to put your career on hold just as it's taking off. Then when you're ready to go back you have to retrain, start over, and lose all that progress you had made.

7 3Rating: +4

What's your solution?

Jun 18, 2018 at 12:32am

Be a stay-at-home mom all your life? What do you do when your kids are grown up? Go back to school, and try to have a career when you're middle age? Good luck with that. Seriously, nobody's forcing you to have a career but if you want to be financially independent, and not be taken care of by your husband or anybody else, what other choice do you have? I don't think men have this option: I'd rather have babies in my 20s instead of having a job. It's not one or the other: you can have kids and a job/career. I'm speaking as a woman. Yes, I judge you.

7 16Rating: -9

At the end of the day

Jun 18, 2018 at 9:33am

No employer thanks you for not having kids because you wanted to advance in your career.
Have you family on your own terms. Work will always be there. The ability to have a family wont. Spoken from one who experienced being able to have only one child because of sacrificing family for work. I was lucky to have one, heart broken that I couldnt have more. Now Im retired and my son is off living his life as he should. Now I have money and no family.

4 1Rating: +3

@What's your solution?

Jun 18, 2018 at 11:08am

I know a number of women from the "bad old days," you know, in the 1970s when Hippies roved the streets in gangs, raping women on public beaches, etc. Dark Times. Anyway, these women did higher education, had children (sometimes out of wedlock, which was not what it is today, in those days it was still sort of a black mark), and their children are now successful. They did it all by being co-operative and broad-minded.

Today's anti-social, un-cooperative feminists are going to enjoy their cats. If women could successfully reproduce, manage a home and do grad degrees in the _dark ages_ when, as I said, hippies roamed the streets in search of fresh meat, then women today have no excuse.

It's true that some of these women got up at 5am, basically worked all day long at something (school, child-rearing, cooking, shopping, etc.) and then conked out at 8pm (no Stephen Colbert!), but that's life if you want something enough.

The women today want everything given to them---and the funny thing is, they get way more than women did decades ago, but are whinier and nuttier.

The unacknowledged situation is that academia is full of people who are overtly hostile to the family, who think that a woman having to feed her child is basically "slavery."

8 9Rating: -1

@ What's your solution?

Jun 18, 2018 at 11:55am

Who said anything about all your life? If you really want kids, you can be a stay at home mom, just until your kids are away at school for most of the day. If you do it later in life, then there is no guarantee that you'll be able to get back to work, and if you do get back to work in your profession that you trained for, it will be unlikely that you'll be picking back up where you left off without going through all that training all over again plus some. You could end up staying at home, or end up with some lame home Avon business for the rest of your life, if you don't get the kids out of the way first.

3 2Rating: +1

Natty

Jun 18, 2018 at 2:11pm

*Leans over to listen to the Kool Aid*

Kool Aid: "......oh yeaaaaaaaa"

*Wall busts open*

4 1Rating: +3

@@ What's your solution? #2

Jun 18, 2018 at 2:47pm

I disagree. Having kids in your 20s when you're still not fully mature, and don't have a stable job is a very stressful situation. Going back to school is difficult even with the kids in school, and you're competing with younger, smarter people. It's much safer to go to school, get a job and be stable financially before having kids in your 30s when you're more mature. You still have plenty of time to have several children. Also, it's much easier to return to your job where you have seniority and experience after a year or so of maternity leave than trying to get a new job without any experience when you're in your 30s. That's of course if you return to work after maternity leave, and not taking many years off to be a stay-at-home mom. Also, I don't see how anybody can choose to be a stay-at-home mom or dad unless you're wealthy. Most families need two incomes to get by nowadays. I don't buy the argument that raising children is a full-time job, and you need to watch over your children full-time in order to raise them. My mother had 2 jobs and raised 4 kids with little help from my father. I'm not saying all women need to do the same thing but our society makes it fairly easy for any mom to have a job if she so chooses. We have daycare for that, and older children attend school during the day. Most low-income women do this: they don't have any other option. Being a stay-at-home mom is a luxury for the wealthy.

6 4Rating: +2

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