Prayer for Love

So this may sound crazy, but my mom who is very religious (Sikh) often tells me that sometimes when we want something and god isn't giving it to us, god will listen to the prayers of others. In other words, a complete stranger can connect with god on your behalf- its like the stranger is a liason or a good luck charm. I would like to ask you wonderful strangers out there to pray for me- that I find love and happiness. I know it is selfish, but it would mean so much to me. I am currently suffering from low self esteem, body image issues, chronic pain, depression, work stress, financial stress and terminal illness of a loved one. I am broken and need help. I am a 29 year old single female, who has never dated, had a boyfriend, anything. I am kind, have worked hard my whole life, contribute to my community, and treat others with respect. I feel so lonley, I want nothing more than to find peace, love, confidence, happiness and a spark in life. Please pray for me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. -N

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Good luck

Jun 18, 2018 at 9:53am

I will hope that you find love. Soubds like you are doing the right things but make sure to love yourself while looking for love.

As for asking an inaginary person in the sky to help you find love I just can’t do that. But I will hope that the positive energy generated by others being selfless in contributing their belief system to your goal helps things move in the right direction for you.

12 9Rating: +3

If you...

Jun 18, 2018 at 10:26am

So, 29 w/ chronic pain, depression, work stress (what is your job, digging ditches 80 hours a week? I doubt it.), sounds like you probably don't eat very well.

Praying isn't going to help. The fact that you legitimately believe prayer might help because a religious person told you it might suggests you're mentally infirm and that you likely need to alter something you're doing, because what you're doing is making you a space cadet.

If you are 29 and have never dated, this is almost certainly because you have some sort of issue approaching men or with diet or both.

Also, people who say they are kind tend not to be very kind. Like, by kind, what do you mean, that you don't strangle puppies and eat babies? Almost everyone thinks they're nice and kind.

If you want a boyfriend, you need to talk to men. In 2018, women hold all of the cards. You can talk to any man you like, ask him to have coffee, ask him to your place for casual sex, etc. The risks for a woman are pretty low.

Lovely L.

Jun 18, 2018 at 10:35am

I promise I will.

18 4Rating: +14

wishing you happiness

Jun 18, 2018 at 11:14am

I understand your struggles only too well. I'll happily send some prayers your way. Best of luck to you! <3

19 2Rating: +17

Sending you good thoughts

Jun 18, 2018 at 11:42am

Make sure to open them:) wishing you stability, family, times of love and joy, calm when you need it and a partner that treats you well.

18 4Rating: +14

random person

Jun 18, 2018 at 12:13pm

no thank you

6 23Rating: -17

Steller's Jay

Jun 18, 2018 at 2:09pm

That's rough. (Understatement.) A friend and I had, separately, somewhat similar experiences when we were in our 20's, and now I have a few decades of hindsight, so I'll say some things that I'd like to be able to go back in time and tell my friend and my younger self.

First, your depression is going to be feeding off all the other things, and in turn it will be making all of the other things worse, which will make the depression worse. Not good. But don't beat yourself up for being depressed: being depressed is a normal response for someone in the situation you're in, with all the stressors you have. Similarly, you're not going to have good self-esteem or confidence while you're depressed. But, from what I've read, the latest thinking is that being kind to yourself is better for mental health than high self-esteem. (Among other things, high self-esteem has the inherent flaw that when you most need it is exactly when you're not going to have it.)

Don't worry about the relationship for now. Think of finding a romantic relationship as like sports. If you were sick with the flu, and had just broken a leg, would you be worried that you weren't skiing? No, you go get medical attention for the leg, and after a few months the flu would be over and the leg healed and you could ski again. Well, you're depressed (with good reason) and you have a dying loved one. You're probably not going to be finding someone right now, and that's OK. If, for now, you're focusing on your loved one rather than finding a relationship, I'd say that shows good priorities - and I think anyone that you'd want to go out with would say the same. So don't sweat it.

For decades I couldn't find a girlfriend to save my life, and that was pretty depressing, plus what it did, after a while, to my self-esteem and confidence made it a self-fulfilling prophecy. It turned out that I'm autistic, and once I figured out workarounds for some gaps I have in my communication skills (the Grand Canyon is a "gap", right?) finding a girlfriend became, well, not easy, but no harder than it is for other guys. There's probably something similar for you, something that you'd never think of yourself but once it's pointed out, you can do something about it. But you need to deal with the immediate problems first. It's unrealistic to expect yourself to find a relationship while you're depressed!

23 4Rating: +19

Steller's Jay

Jun 18, 2018 at 2:14pm

(continued)

You mention your Mom. Do you have a good relationship with your Mom? (Not everybody does.) If you do, make use of it. It's a loving relationship, just like a romantic relationship would be, so you're not alone, you have someone you can trust, which is potentially really helpful when you're depressed. Same thing potentially applies for your Dad.

I'm a religious guy, and I completely agree with your Mom about prayer - that's a belief not only of Sikhs, but of every religion I've ever heard of. But I also think that the Gods help us through apparently mortal forms, and that prayer and secular action support and reinforce each other. (At least in my religion, you can pray for yourself, too :) - it's no more selfish than asking friends for help instead of hoping they'll notice you need help.) But here's some resources, for people like myself and my friend when we were younger and for people like you now. I hope you'll give them a call.

https://suicideprevention.ca/british-columbia-crisis-centres/ The Web page says "You can also call if you are not in crisis, seeking additional information." 1-877-820-7444 You can tell them you're depressed and a friend recommended you call them :) - that's true. It's not selfish to ask for or accept help - we're human beings, social creatures, we all help each other at times during our lives and receive help at other times during our lives.

Also http://www.crisisservicescanada.ca/

17 5Rating: +12

@ If you.....

Jun 18, 2018 at 2:20pm

Dude you are so tiring - you are on here all the time with your bitterness and fallacious ideology (no risk for women to approach men eh?!? guess all those deaths are just made up stats! ) & other silly thoughts.... She's a space cadet for having religious faith? Chronic pain is all up to her diet? What a world you must live in - sounds to me like a very regimented one full of self-recrimination. Find some compassion for yourself and work on your shit before spewing it all over others.

23 6Rating: +17

@@if you....

Jun 18, 2018 at 4:50pm

"guess all those deaths are just made up stats!"
Nice to bring that out,but recent stats show 450 homicides a year of which 350 were men. You're 600% more likely to be killed in a car crash and you never see women recoiling in fear from going for a car ride. Then look at all the other causes of death.
Anyways OP,I've driven past Sikh temples and there's hundreds and hundreds of guys there...and no one for you? Really?

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