Please listen. Don’t wait, thinking that things are going to get better. Would you stay if he was physically beating you? Emotional abuse is just as bad, if not worse. I totally understand why you feel like you do, because what he’s doing is similar to how slot machines work: you get a reward every once in a while, so you keep on trying because it possible that some time you’re going to win the big payoff. It’s an addicting relationship you’re in, and if you don’t get out now you might be me, someone who wasted 20 years of my precious life hoping that he would finally see the light.

It will only get worse and your sense of self will be damaged beyond repair.

It will be hard, and it will be scary, but you deserve security, happiness, and peace. Summon up all the courage you have, and walk away. It's okay to be scared, it's okay to be unsure, it's okay to feel daunted--and it is okay to put yourself first.
Sending all the best to you.

I’m trapped in and abusive relationship also. It’s been 3 years and he gaslights me and tells me I’m crazy and sick and that I’m doing it to him. I question myself and some days I can’t sleep or eat or get out of bed. It’s destroying my life. The worst part is that I’m so desperate for him to see what he’s doing that I continue to try my hardest to make him happy. We don’t live together because I want him to get his life together independent from me and he sees that as rejection. All I want to do is take care of him but I want to see that he can take care of himself before I take that step with him and he just isn’t doing it and doesn’t seem to want to. It’s heartbreaking. If it’s been 7 years for you and doesn’t seem to get any better then my advice to you is to leave him. It is so hard but it sounds like this guy is using you as an emotional punching bag to make himself not feel so much self hatred. You have one life. Spend it happy and loving yourself. Your positivity will bring more of the same into your life.