Can't Relate or Don't Want To

I was born white trash, growing up on Walmart and football. I was the first in my family to get a degree. Then I got another. Unfortunately, the result seems to be that now I can't talk to anyone. You know what they said about Britney - you can take the girl out of the trailer, but not the trailer out of the girl. Well, I'd like to say I've changed a great deal. I'm selective with food, with coffee, with beer. I understand and can appreciate contemporary art and experimental music genres. I read. So now my family can't relate. My old friends can't either. Redneck hunters aren't bffs with vegans it would seem. On the other hand, almost everyone I went to school with came from a great deal more money, and they can sense the differences between us. Where are the people like me?

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Anonymous

Jul 16, 2018 at 11:47am

You're too brainwashed and too stuck up in your "high society" click, to relate to the people in your life that are still "down to earth", and still have their common sense intact. You ever watch the sitcom "Fraser"? That's you.

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@Anonymous

Jul 16, 2018 at 12:33pm

clique...it's clique. See this is why I can't have friends.

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I have the same background

Jul 16, 2018 at 12:58pm

But have managed to find friends who don’t care about background at all. Keep searching, we’re out here!

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Well....

Jul 16, 2018 at 4:08pm

I think part of it may be the simple process of growing up, of leaving home and having new experiences. It's pretty typical to outgrow our high school friends, especially if we've moved on in the world, and their lives have remained the same. I don't believe it's "snobbery" to acknowledge there's been a change and shift; it's sometimes a simple fact of life.

As for your family, try to keep them close in any event - they know you best, even if you feel like you don't fit. They may feel that they can't keep up to you, so patience all around may help.

Regarding the people you went to school with - well, if they only value people based on money, you're well rid of them.

I agree with @I have the same background - I'm sure you'll find people who share your interests/value who won't be snobby about your background. You are who you are, uniquely you. Don't forget where you're from as it has shaped who you've become. It's a challenging transition, this feeling that you don't fit anywhere, but in time, it will shift. All part of growing up (I'm mid-fifties, so I feel justified in saying that). Best of luck to you.

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You can...

Jul 16, 2018 at 9:24pm

take the trash out of the trailer....
butt....
you can't take the trailer out of the trash....

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Outlier

Jul 16, 2018 at 10:20pm

Friends, family, strangers, forum readers, and on and on...
I'm a dropout. Actually makes it harder. The mother and sister of the girl I was dating, told me separately (days apart) that they find me intimidating, specifically because of intellect and sophistication (their words), and they felt inadequate around me occasionally.
They are both well-traveled, degreed, experienced professionals in different fields. They're also sharp, mentally flexible, multilingual and very switched on. The whole family is foreign-born, I should note.
I apologized, because, well, I didn't know what else to say.
They told me they loved my company anyway but sometimes the gap in awareness was too vast.

Hope that's some consolation. You'll find people who enjoy your presence, though they be occasionally uncomfortable with you. But you'll have to keep looking.

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Good for you

Jul 17, 2018 at 6:38pm

I feel similarly, sometimes. Especially when dating.

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