I have a friend from work who has been chummy with me for years and I feel relatively comfortable with her but the relationship is definitely unique and I have decided to try to keep her as a friend despite recent facts coming to light For instance the way that I know this person is that we were both a a bit unhappy at work and we bonded over sharing those moments and we both love good coffee and dark humor and so we went for coffee together many times. She is the kind of person who understands many types of people and shows her intellect freely but in time I have found her to be more secretive than I had previously anticipated. She has family issues that have colored her life and has found stability and confidence elusive and could not afford to pay for her education so she has been self educated. The thing is that I found out she has not got the qualifications for the job she does at work and she is mainly being supported by people who she works with who know of her struggles. She is competing with people who are at a higher level of education and is not sure that her connections are strong enough if there are cutbacks to keep her on and she is always hiding her ambitions because she knows she should not even be there if she had not had friends there. Meanwhile I had also many traumas in life but sacrificed my social life and my close friends for my hard won education and now find that the workplace is being managed more on the basis of friendships (networking) and I now lack that qualification due to many years of solitary study and working three jobs. Oh how ironic life is.