How do I stop loving you?

Falling in love with my coworker. Do not want do not want. Not going to pursue. Can't get them out of my mind though, every time I tell myself its just the excitement of meeting someone new, and finding them attractive-I start learning all this cool stuff about them. Every time we talk it gets better and I want them so bad!! I'm happy in my relationship. I don't need this. And I'm not going to pursue. But god DAMN! We both act very foolish and clumsy around each other, it's beginning to become unbearable. I might have to find a new job. Or start discussing open policies with my s/o...i can't hide this forever. Why am I so obsessed with you?

11 Comments

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Same Boat

Jul 19, 2018 at 9:52am

Seems obvious to me: this coworker offers you something your s/o doesn't. Maybe you're not as happy as you think you are (or want to be).

14 8Rating: +6

Anonymous

Jul 19, 2018 at 10:46am

Just tell your partner you aren't happy. This whole "coworker" fling that everyone chases these days, I don't get it. Take care of your problems at home and leave your poor co-worker alone.

16 9Rating: +7

It’s Because

Jul 19, 2018 at 11:38am

You spend more time with your coworker than you do with your partner. It happens all the time. If you want to be happy at home, work on it and distance the relationship with your coworker.

23 9Rating: +14

Does she?

Jul 19, 2018 at 1:10pm

Feel the same? It sounds like you’re having an emotional affair with her. Unless you know that she feels the same way about you, you’re risking much more than your marriage. You risk your job and hers. If you do both feel the same, then you’ve got some very serious thinking to do. If not, then grow up and back way off before she gets annoyed and says something about it to your employer or other staff.

18 7Rating: +11

I came here for the gossip

Jul 19, 2018 at 2:58pm

After all the down votes I was expecting mega hate but people are so helpful!! Such helpful comments, better advice than most lol!

8 7Rating: +1

Stay in your relationship

Jul 19, 2018 at 4:28pm

It's not worth it. Grass in not always greener. They might seem normal, but if they are pursuing you, especially aggressively, when they know you are in a relationship they are most likely a psychopath. Psychopaths love tearing others away from their relationships, it is very gratifying to their egos. So, don't pay attention to them, and stay far away!

@ Stay in your relationship

Jul 20, 2018 at 1:56am

Oh right, blame the co-worker for their unbridled attraction to them. "They make me so horny so they must be a psycho just out for their ego, because there is no way I can be making it so apparent that I want them!" LMFAO! Sorry, but it does take two for the chemistry to be there.

9 8Rating: +1

Answer might be Sociopath

Jul 20, 2018 at 4:26am

agree with many of the comments. When this happened to me I spent most of my day working next door to my classmate "Drama" while my partner "OutOfTown" was away for months. I was feeling lost and this person seemed to offer me direction. But I thought I was happy in my relationship, so I would pull away, and every time I pulled away and attempted to distance myself "Drama" became angry (which only made me think of them more). I made the terrible decision to express how I felt (don't do this! for one, it resulted in getting dumped by "OutOfTown") and in retrospect it turned out "Drama" just liked the ego boost. They pulled me along for months on a roller-coaster of pain - I only like you as a friend / do you think i'm beautiful \ but you have a girlfriend / i'm drawn to you \ i've started seeing this guy and I would NEVER want to hurt things... Some women (make that some People) just like to destroy something. After ripping apart my life, she wasn't there for me at the end. As said above, the grass is not always greener.

10 8Rating: +2

Love isn’t...

Jul 20, 2018 at 9:23am

a light switch. You can’t logic you’re way out of it. If it’s lust, it would subside. If not, then you will be forced to reevaluate what you want things to look like with your s/o or this new person. It’s inevitable when feelings become involved.
The sociopath advice is cliche and black and white. People and relationships are far more complex than that.

8 10Rating: -2

@Love isn't

Jul 20, 2018 at 1:37pm

Whatever. I like sociopath. It may be simple, but it makes me the victim and not the not-good-enough. Maybe one day she'll feel like gracing me with the complex truth. But I doubt it. I've waited about 8 years so far.

11 4Rating: +7

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