Might have to lose some great friends

Along my pursuit of happiness I'm finally realizing how horribly negative some of my best of friends are. When you really love someone you do put them on a pedestal, its true. I've never noticed these things before. They will go on and on about the smallest issues, someone bumped into them on the bus, this one guy that was mean to them in highschool like 15 years ago, little things they never let go!! HOW FLIPPING EXHAUSTING!!!! I have gone through so much in life, it takes a lot more than these things to bring me down. I will get phone calls from them ONLY to hear them bitch about something and that's it! The whole conversation! When you finally stop complaining, and you decide for yourself that you choose to be happy, there you will find real happiness. Honestly, some people really enjoy being pissed off. the more of our small time seeing each other becomes me just listening to anger and negativity the less i care to be around those types. They've never once inquired about me or my life. Im just a vessel that absorbs their negativity. Im too old and happy for this, and I want out. Just fucking relax already, you're still single in your 30's because you're angry and mean. you can't bitch about hating men then complain you have none! There I said it! Back to my peace of mind now....

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This post is bang on.

Jul 19, 2018 at 3:40pm

I went through exactly what you're describing and had no choice but to cut certain folks out of my life to preserve my own serenity and peace of mind.
Here's one real sign that your "friend" is not really your friend.
If they only complain and talk about them self and never ask you about your own feelings they are NOT a friend.
Cut that person out of your life!

Good for you for realizing this at a young age, it took me longer to wake up.

14 4Rating: +10

i had a friend who was always trying to pick a fight

Jul 19, 2018 at 5:10pm

until they tried to pick one with me

9 4Rating: +5

What do you offer?

Jul 19, 2018 at 10:57pm

I understand what you’re saying, but I have to wonder what you bring to the conversation? Do you just stay mute while they continue to talk? Do you ever volunteer anything about your own life? I know a couple of people who are those types who don’t talk very much. In fact, they often seem incapable of carrying on a normal back-and-forth conversation. It’s tedious trying to have one with them, because I feel as though I have to keep it going or it would just not exist. As a result, I’ve ended relationships with both of them because they just simply didn’t do their share. So you see, there are always two sides to every story.

7 6Rating: +1

Sorry to disagree but...

Jul 20, 2018 at 1:48am

When you really love someone so much you can't always help but put them on a pedestal, and look past every wrong and red flag in them. Parents especially do this a lot with their kids. You don't always get the wake up call of who they really are until they purposely do something to hurt you. You get a slap in the face by their dark side. You still love them, but you can never really trust them again. It can take a very lot of time to get over these things and move on depending how deeply you felt for them. Don't go breaking hearts just because you know you can.

6 8Rating: -2

@sorry to disagree

Jul 20, 2018 at 4:27pm

Nothing wrong with disagreement... but should you ever put someone on a pedestal like that? Even if you were a parent, would it be good for your own child? I've done the same and felt the slap, darkness, and greys with someone I had unmatched passion for. I know the fall was because of the radical/euphoric love I indulged in at first. Still think they're great.
And curious, at the OP and other complainers, what is it you do with your prized peace of mind? As someone who spends a slothful amount of time thinking, what's this peace of mine of yours and what do you do with it? When one of my friends pisses me off, I usually talk to them and then ignore them if they aren't receptive and (secretely) content with their own problems.

3 4Rating: -1

@@sorry to disagree

Jul 20, 2018 at 6:15pm

Some people will play for the attention, and blame the other person for being naive, not caring that it was wrong for them to play another in the first place. Some people don't consider another person's feelings. They're only concerned about what feels good to themselves.

4 3Rating: +1

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