A Reflection

posted July 21st, 2018 at 9:20 AM

Sometimes looking in the mirror of my local gym, I observe the awkward bodies of those fat and those slim, and I think to myself how lucky they are, to see someone like me who progressed so very far, someone like me with the muscles, the looks and the face, to be honest membership should be free in my case, I always remember to wipe the equipment down, I'm basically the most courteous person in town, And I'm humble and smart and I smell pretty good, So it boggles the mind, as clearly it should, Why you married someone else and rejected me!?!? Shit, I'd marry me if I could.

11 Comments

You’re not humble

Jul 21, 2018 at 2:53pm

You’re a conceited d-bag who deserves to be alone.
Karma takes care of a-holes like yourself.

This is a great confession

Jul 21, 2018 at 3:25pm

Abviously its satire- but it explains the situation quite clearly. Shamefully, I acted like this when I was younger but in terms of mind not body. Look at me I am so smart, I will do better than you in life. Disgusting hey? Well we all make mistakes.

Worst confession ever

Jul 21, 2018 at 4:47pm

Are you serious? You can’t be serious. Can’t be.

You Are Not Humble

Jul 21, 2018 at 5:45pm

And you are just trolling.

Great idea

Jul 21, 2018 at 6:08pm

We should be able to marry ourselves and get equivalent tax relief to a married couple! It's unfair that our society is set up to privilege married people.

Humblebrag, Inc.

Jul 21, 2018 at 6:54pm

I can tell exactly why he didn’t...everyone can.
Thank you for wiping down the gym equipment...it is literally the least you should do.

laughing mask

Jul 21, 2018 at 8:41pm

Narcissus, is-tat-ue?
I saw you last time by the pond...
they have heard of your legend!

Such

Jul 21, 2018 at 9:34pm

A douchbag thing to say....maybe pretty on the outside, definitely ugly on the inside..,.you lose

You married the Pillsbury dough boy

Jul 22, 2018 at 3:42am

It's true. And if he didn't have that cute little chuckle I would wonder. Okay so snot flies out my nose every time you poke my tummy but still...you didn't try to love me! Actually that snot tastes delicious in a turnover with frosting