Torment

posted July 14th, 2018 at 1:35 PM

It's not that I can't move on. I get hit on by lots of guys. It's that, somewhere, I keep expecting that he'll send an email to meet, but the only way I'll get this is to let go, so the impossible is the reality. It's like I can feel his soul, and it won't let me go but it won't connect with me either, keeping me to himself. I really need the kind of closure that comes from being face to face and I can't get it so I can be free. I pray for amnesia. And I can't tell anyone as they'll think I'm nuts for thinking like this. I sure can't tell him. I'm stuck, praying for amnesia.

9 Comments

"I get hit on by lots of guys. "

Jul 14, 2018 at 4:14pm

What? I thought that no men ever approach any women at any time nor any place in Vancouver.
#Confused

Yah, me too

Jul 14, 2018 at 5:29pm

It’s torture. I want to move on but my heart won’t let me. Short of begging him to come back, I think I’ll be stuck here for a long time.

Ghosted

Jul 14, 2018 at 5:40pm

Sounds like you got ghosted, which resulted in something of a "soul tie". Some people will ghost you to leave you pining away for them for the rest of your life, and that's just so they can ride the resulting ego wave for the rest of their own life.

After time, you can become a little more emotionally removed from the interactions you had with this person, and take a fresh look at what took place from a more objective perspective. In the end, the truth will set you free. However you can never expect the truth to come from them. They don't want you to be free. They want you to carry their emotional junk through life, so they can live more freely with less emotional burdens and insecurities themselves.

This

Jul 14, 2018 at 7:06pm

Is all in your head. You can set yourself free from this prison, but you have convinced yourself that you can’t and that you need their closure. You don’t. Allow yourself to let go, because they are not keeping you, you are keeping them. They don’t wanna connect or they would have. They don’t care. Let go.

Easy Answer

Jul 14, 2018 at 7:15pm

Send HIM an email asking to talk. I just read this thinking it was for me, but the person I thought I was helping actually blocked my email. So I quit on her for all the extreme gaslighting. You're not nuts for thinking this way, it happened to me too. It's because you have strong empathy. Take care of that empathy and put it to good use.

WalterMcYee

Jul 14, 2018 at 8:13pm

Sorry for your loss. If you sit for long enough under a coconut tree, nature might come down to your rescue and help with the amnesia...

Damnation

Jul 14, 2018 at 8:38pm

Them as don't ask, don't get.
If you're stuck, ask for help. If that help is only to be had from that one person, nothing will change this and the longer you wait, the more you'll suffer.
At what point is the dignity not worth the pain?
The agonies that humans endure for the sake of their ego... It really boggles my mind.

Stop waiting for his email

Jul 15, 2018 at 10:25am

Send him one or call him and if there's no response then that's your closure. Sometimes, sadly, we never get the closure from the person we need it the most so it becomes something we have to dig a little deeper to give to ourselves.