I had an affair with a woman for almost 2 years. It was meant to be casual, a friend with occasional benefits. But I found myslef thinking way too much about her. And her and I. When I finally was found out, I just ghosted the woman. I let me wife answer the phone when she called and take all of her anger out on the woman. I knew how much it would hurt her to be ignored and discarded but my wife came first. I guess now, after a few months of reuniting with my wife and starting a new life in a new city, I wonder if I should do the right thing, show a little respect and have a closing conversation with my other woman. A woman who was a good friend to me in a tough time.


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Aug 18, 2018 at 10:34am

... "other woman" (or man) should always expect to be dropped like this eventually, that is how affairs work. Talking again is just another chance to continue the affair. If you want to continue the affair, it is a free world, but don't put lipstick on a pig and gussy it up.

Cool story bro

Aug 18, 2018 at 11:09am

If your wife came first, then I guess you would have put her before your dick's need for some strange in the first place. Stop being a weak-minded emotion thief and handle your shit like an adult when you're going through a "tough time", instead of using other people to fuck your problems away and then discarding them like dirty kleenex.

49 8Rating: +41


Aug 18, 2018 at 11:59am

You should absolutely do the right thing by both of these women. Talk to your wife, let her know that you are going to meet/talk with the ex-friend. Be honest and open. And then get in touch with the woman you say you cared about. She deserves to be treated respectfully as well. It sounds like it was more than a one night flong so it should be given a reasonable amount of energy in ending it respectfully. Your wife was hurt by your choices but so was the friend.
Be brave and do the right thing.


Aug 18, 2018 at 12:03pm

You are crass and unkind. There is no need to berate or degrade the other woman in this story. You don’t know the details of the relationship. Affairs don’t have to end with distasteful or disrespectful actions. If they were as close as he says, then there is more than a booty call involved. Everyone’s emotional well being should be considered. You must a a serious chip on your shoulder! Perhaps your husband (or wife) cheated on you.

You’re a douche

Aug 18, 2018 at 12:26pm

And your wife is a fool to stick around.

29 5Rating: +24

@ Cool story bro

Aug 18, 2018 at 12:36pm

Nailed it.

21 3Rating: +18


Aug 18, 2018 at 1:19pm

maybe you should respect your wife firstly ans not have what tempts you and probably offends her hanging around. contacting the pther woman seems like a cruel thing to do to your wife


Aug 18, 2018 at 1:27pm

Wow. Just, wow.
You let her take all the heat, for the whole thing. An affair that lasted years.
This is easily one of the top five most appalling, dishonorable things I've ever read, in 6 years of hanging about here. Not the affair part - that's standard, statistically normal stuff. The way you handled the fallout from it. How incredibly cruel and selfish. Way to avoid responsibility, mate. This is the sort of thing women use to slag all dudes, as a gender. Thanks for that.
And I'm not being righteous - I'm a nontraditional, hedonistic dude with little use for sanctity of anything. Particularly of marriage, which is a legal contract sponsored by the state. You know this because when it goes bad, it requires courts and lawyers. Human relations don't require (or involve) those, but CONTRACTUAL relations do.
Of course, anyone who gets with me, knows that in advance. And ironically, I'm usually monogamous for practical reasons. Who's got that kind of time?

Anyway, kudos. Well played. /sarcasm


Aug 18, 2018 at 1:51pm

What a weak and cowardly pos you are. Too wimpy to speak to her at the time, and now that you think you’re safe with your wife, you want to do what you should have done then? You disgust me on so many levels and if your wife has any backbone she’ll dump your ass.

Leave her alone

Aug 18, 2018 at 2:10pm

Depends what you want — if you want to continue the affair, get in touch with her. If you want to respect your wife and rebuild your marriage, you’ll leave her alone. Quite simple really. But remember that you can only rebuild a marriage without ruining the foundation once or twice.

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