I struggle a great deal with feeling alone, and loneliness, and miss feeling truly connected and understood especially romantically. Dont want kids, okay with not being married too, but a LTR would be nice.
I think being single for so many years, the influx of weddings especially lately, and not being able to meet a compatible partner coupled with friends too busy with their lives and partners to hang out with on a regular basis all contribute. I often dread weekends.... I'm limited financially as well due to complex, health issues. My friends say too put myself out there, but I've met some pretty awful guys.... Honestly, guys aren't as understanding and kind about being with someone with health issues. They need to be realistic. Not everyone is lucky in love....
I haven't even really been on a date for some time as I'm scared of being hurt badly again too and not being accepted. Yes, I do go to counseling for my depression, PTSD, and discussing my struggles as I wanted to note that in case someone made that suggestion. I've had even professional s say damn how have you dealt with so much adversity with many difficult things in my life including complex health issues, and it's honestly just worn me down. Doctors suck, and can't seem to help improve my quality of life. When life has only been suffering, and continues to be, what kind of life is that to live?
I think I just wish I could stop feeling so goddamn alone, lonely and just accept I won't meet someone and at least find a way to be busy and do things I enjoy with genuine, kind people at least. It's hard though to meet and connect with others though especially being hurt and betrayed by people. I have depression as well (that definitely makes it even harder especially as it's treatment resistant and nothing I've tried and continue to try has helped and I've exhausted my options but continue to try and go to counseling etc.) Thats a whole other issue though.
It's this existential loneliness too if that makes sense. I honestly don't know how to deal with it. It's a very profound pain. I've tried meetups etc. but not been helpful. Any other lost souls out there too? What do you do?
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