Sometimes I think I am crazy, other times I think I am dreaming. The man I love is gone away for at least a year and a bit, I won't go to see him...I'm not allowed.
Our relationship is...special, he's the one I think about when I first wake up, the one I think about when I go to sleep - it sounds like obsession but it's not. This is the only place that I can write this where he "might" not see it.
There are two other women in his life, three children, only two of which are his, he's a good man, he made some mistakes but at his core he's a really good man.
By rights I should walk away, live my life and never think about him again, but the love I feel has wrapped itself around my throat and refuses to let go. I've tried. I'll be with him forever, I'll love him forever, but that doesnt mean I have to, or that I am willing to put my life on hold.
I know the time will come when we get our chance, but it's the mean time that hurts, it's the waiting, not knowing and fear of the unsure-ness of it all. I am overly insecure, because I know he loves me, I know that we're on this really messy path, but it still hurts and I miss him.
It's like...missing a leg, or an eye, it's noticable, they said that love isn't supposed to hurt but that's clearly a lie. Love hurts so bad that death would be a sweet escape...but that's not an option because I promised.
This hurts. Any suggestions? Please try and make them funny...I could use some laughs.
The Georgia Straight: A 50th Anniversary Celebration Book
This beautifully produced coffee-table book brings together over 100 of Georgia Straight's iconic covers, along with short essays, insider details and contributor reflections, putting each of these issues of the publication into its historical context.