That was my experience. I found in most cases but not all it was the woman who were the most unhappy. The men occasionally but happier. After my experience I'd see documentaries on the subject and I feel some of those people aren't being honest because they are too embarrassed to admit it's not working after touting the virtues of a poly lifestyle publicly or shamed by your poly friends for being "puritanical". The biggest insult in the poly community. Like your mind is just so antiquated it can't handle being "emotionally involved" (fucking) with several "lovers" (fuck friends). Delusional or dishonest and living a lie.

Why were you attracted to polyamory in the first place?

A friend in an open relationship pointed out to me that the biggest difference between whether or not people can practice healthy polyamory appears to be whether or not they view it as a lifestyle versus a sexual orientation. I dated one of the sexual orientation people and he was a NIGHTMARE. My lifestyle oriented poly friends are very healthy and have stable relationships. That said, absolutely not for everyone and I will NEVER try it again.

it's not for you, doesn't mean it isn't possible for anyone.

"But I've rarely seen any monogamous relationships work"

I knew a poly couple and slept with one of them, it ruined all 3 of our friendships.

Only really good looking people who can attract a bunch of mediocre looking suckers can pull off polyamory. The good looking person realizes that they can string a bunch of people along under the guise of being "poly" and voila! their douchebaggery is rationalized while their many mates suffer.

FYI - I'm a guy. I sometimes dabble in polyamory (not that I'm in "love" with any of my partners, we're just FWB) and will continue to do so, until I meet someone I am truly emotionally and physically attracted to. It's not fulfilling romantically or emotionally, however that doesn't stop me from wanting to get laid or establish casual friends with benefits relationships with women I am less interested in. I've made some casual FWB who fully understand the situation and are okay with it.

Until I find someone special I will date, get laid, have fun along the way. I don't see anything wrong with that, especially in Vancouver where it is SO difficult to make quality emotional/physical connections. We all need affection and sex, even without the emotional side of it. I also feel that if you date someone "out of your league" who identifies as poly you're only deceiving yourself if you think that person wants an emotional bond and not just sex. I think we all need to date those who are physically in the same "league", at least the attractions will be more genuine. Stop trying to date people who are better looking than you, chances are you're being used. It's all messy and head-fucking stuff isn't it...