Well, I am an idiot

I rebounded from a 5-year-long abusive relationship with a man 20 years older than me--a man who was a very close friend--but a man with whom I never got past 3rd base because he was so insecure about his sexual performance. Don't get me wrong, the guy can get it up, but he just couldn't ever plant it in me once the moment hit. He is more than adequate in all the other acts, but can't do intercourse. We recently got some medication for it and he froze, got nervous, started talking about music instead. I never shamed him, did everything I could to make him relax, was encouraging and loving and supportive. I don't understand what the mental block is. Why on earth is it so hard. WHY. Pun totally intended.

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It could be

Aug 28, 2018 at 10:12pm

Childhood trauma? Or some type of trauma that happened to him?

19 2Rating: +17

Anonymous

Aug 28, 2018 at 11:40pm

he's just not that into you~

18 4Rating: +14

Anonymous

Aug 29, 2018 at 2:48am

I've been there. He's self-conscious about the age difference and feels like a creep.

21 7Rating: +14

Cedric

Aug 29, 2018 at 7:41am

Performance anxiety is a very real thing....a guy doesn't want to disappoint a woman he loves.

9 10Rating: -1

Have you heard of

Aug 29, 2018 at 8:35am

a little blue pill called Viagra?
Changed my sex life at 60.

Possible side-effects

Aug 29, 2018 at 12:00pm

There is a likelihood that this is a side-effect of medication(s) he is on; this can be easily ascertained and addressed by having a discussion with is doctors, which I strongly recommend.

7 11Rating: -4

Maybe

Aug 29, 2018 at 1:40pm

Could it be that he’d really rather just remain as your friend? A 20 year age difference means that it’s very unlikely that your hookup is going to result in anything long term. Maybe he’s wise enough to realize that trying to make it into something other than friends means it’s going to ruin a perfectly good friendship. You said yourself that you’re rebounding. Give your head a shake kid.

15 9Rating: +6

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