Can't Deal

My girlfriend has a kid and I just don't get along with him at all. He has had no discipline in his life and has no manners. He is 14 years old and I have caught him with drugs and alcohol. He cusses to my face and his mom and knows I can't do anything about it. He has fistfuls of cash which leads me to believe hes probably selling drugs or stealing. I am not his dad so I don't discipline him and this leads to a lot of animosity with my girlfriend. His dads in jail and I am fairly certain hes heading there as well just the way hes going. So last night I made mac and cheese for dinner and he says he doesn't want it and just throws the bowl on the floor and then his moms scrambling to make him something else. This is what I am talking about. He has no rules or responsibilities and his moms just catering to this. I am just tired of this and I just can't be in this relationship and am pulling the cord.


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Sep 17, 2018 at 10:14pm

And hopefully the mom will get some counseling.

40 7Rating: +33

Time to leave

Sep 17, 2018 at 10:24pm

Let your girlfriend know about how her son affecting you and the relationship. If there is no change then leave and you shouldn't feel bad nor guilty for leaving.

37 5Rating: +32

If you can’t step up for a woman with a kid

Sep 17, 2018 at 10:45pm

Then don’t waste her time. Also, the kid is obviously going through some traumatic stuff. This isn’t just about “manners” and discipline. If the dad is in jail there’s probably a whole bunch of emotional stuff going with the kid you arent ready to deal with.


Sep 17, 2018 at 11:31pm

You're doing the right thing

30 6Rating: +24


Sep 18, 2018 at 1:06am

Any time a child is in charge of the household and / or the relationship, that’s a major red flag of future problems. It’s sad but if she’s incapable of appropriately disciplining this boy then its indicative of many other issues that she’s not dealing with.

48 3Rating: +45


Sep 18, 2018 at 6:04am

Good for you! I'd get out too. There is something very wrong there. But I'm not sure how you got involved in the first place. You must have known she was a single mom with the ex in jail. Red Flags all over the place. Good luck to you in the future!

18 8Rating: +10


Sep 18, 2018 at 7:55am

I’ve gone through a similar situation, yes the kids were going through major changes, and acting out. They ruled the house it’s awful and draining. Run.

22 6Rating: +16


Sep 18, 2018 at 8:19am

Good decision...the mom will never pressure the kid to go out on his own so if you stick around you'll be dealing with this till the kid is 40.

22 6Rating: +16

Get out while you can

Sep 18, 2018 at 8:26am

I’m married to someone with a child and if I could go back I would never do it, it’s s constant battle all the me, go find a nice girl with no kids!

24 7Rating: +17


Sep 18, 2018 at 8:34pm

I worked on a project in a maximum security prison.
It was creepy and squalid and I don't want to do that again.
The nurses told me that the infection rate of incoming prisoners was over 50pct (hep, HIV, herpes and other nasties, many chronic and infectious). Smuggling, trafficking, manipulation, scheming, sexual favors (consensual or otherwise, transactional and not), violence, abuse, mental illness... And that was just the guards.
The child needs to be incarcerated, otherwise he can't make an informed decision. He obviously doesn't understand the notion of consequences. Until he get some, it's all for naught.

None of which is yours to deal with. Leave while you still can.

6 7Rating: -1

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