How to be a friend

I must confess that had it not been for my best friend at work I do not know where I would be today. When I first started working there my position was a new one requiring a level of education never previously required. My new friend was so supportive of me that she encouraged me into leaving the department for another position that paid better, aw what a pal. A little bit later I realized that I was not going to be able to rely on any references from that department and realized that what had been happening was real in terms of workplace bullying but still trusted my friend. Then a few years later when I was afflicted with some chronic pain she was selling marijuana at work so she sold me some and encouraged me to do more, even asking me to smoke with her regularly and then inviting people who were senior to me to join us. I had to stop her from that nonsense, silly friend. They did not smoke anyway. As time went by my credibility at work slipped but my friend said she was not involved in office politics any more. I had to fight for my rights a few times and she made sure to be absent and excused herself based on her health. Of course friend. Now a couple of years have gone by and although I am still employed it is like no one has ever heard of me but they are sure hearing about my friend. Wow, she has the same job as I do and she has not even tried... all she had to do was show up for her job and she became as qualified as I am and more. She now has plans to get back into the swing of things and is reconnecting at work, now that I may have to leave. She doesn't ask me to go out any more, does not talk about work with me and hardly seems interested in our friendship any more. She only comes over if I offer her something special like dinner out or free marijuana. She is doing so much better at work than I am. How that happened must be an accident. She would never deliberately sabotage me. Right friend?

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Define "sabotage"

Sep 18, 2018 at 9:15am

Why do you keep insinuating that this lady is your friend? Are you being sarcastic?

It's funny that you mention sabotage at the end, after maligning her to the best of your ability on a public forum.

You apparently blame somebody other than yourself for a reference, or lack thereof? No offence intended but you, me, and every other reader has earned or failed to earn our own references.

Your reference, or lack thereof, is actually much like your credibility, or lack thereof, believe that or not. If you don't have credibility you need to look at yourself not anyone else.

Complaining about your credibility slipping over time and then insinuating it's this lady's responsibility to maintain your credibility, presumably also over time is baffling.

Why should she, or any other person be responsible for your credibility? Especially over time! It's one thing to cover for a friend, it's another thing when that "friend" expects to get covered every Friday at 3....

You don't seem even a little happy about this lady's accomplishments to me. Maybe you are oblivious to them, maybe not.

I can honestly say it looks to me like you took advantage of this lady. Not the other way around as you suggest. She tried in earnest to accommodate you. You felt entitled to more accommodation, and she put an end to it, rightly so. Reciprocate much?

3 8Rating: -5

This reads like

Sep 18, 2018 at 1:09pm

It was written by either a crazy person, or a user / taker

Either way I don’t have any sympathy

5 8Rating: -3

She set you

Sep 18, 2018 at 4:37pm

Up she is still mooving up and probbly banging the boss and selling drug's looking for the nex person that just might take her job you must had bin a thret to her mooving up bro seen it and livd it she knows wat she is working with a cunt.

2 6Rating: -4

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