To my now ex-friend...

Your personality changed the moment you met him. The strong, empowered woman turned into a simpering stepford version of your previous self. Everyone noticed it, but no one had the nerve to say anything to you. I didn’t like or trust him the moment I met him and was concerned that perhaps you were more in love with the fact that he was besotted with you than the man himself. If our friendship wasn’t strong enough to withstand the possibility that, he too is fallible then perhaps our friendship was one of convenience. You needed a single partner in crime until you were no longer single, and then I was disposable. Sadly, people placed on pedestals tend to eventually fall off. Your constant public posts of adoration strike me as a case of “the lady doth protest too much”. Exactly who are you trying to convince? I suppose that the upside is that I no longer have to pretend that I can stand him or suppress eye rolls at his cheeseball behaviours.

6 Comments

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Friend?

Sep 23, 2018 at 11:28am

It’s funny how people use that word so easily. I don’t have many, but the ones that I do have are the real thing. Even if I can’t stand their partners or they can’t stand mine. I don’t have to be with him, and who they choose to be with and why is none of my business. The only time I’d change that is if there’s signs of abuse. In that case I’d still be there for my friend, but I’d also be encouraging her to leave. So if you’re feeling neglected because she’s in a new relationship, if you genuinely care about her then try cutting the woman some slack. It’s normal.

15 2Rating: +13

@ Friend?

Sep 23, 2018 at 6:13pm

Oh, I was understanding. I made the fatal error of standing up for myself when new love was being a bonehead. Apparently his frail male ego couldn’t handle and friendship severed. I’ve tried to connect and...crickets.

5 8Rating: -3

You’re awful

Sep 23, 2018 at 7:13pm

You call yourself a friend?? You are so fake. Wow. Pretty disgusted over here..

5 9Rating: -4

The lady friend doth interfere too much

Sep 24, 2018 at 12:28am

Get yer own fella Della!

4 8Rating: -4

Omg same

Sep 24, 2018 at 1:04pm

This has happened repeatedly...the second a man comes into the picture women vanish. Once the breakup happens they expect you to be available again. Nope.

3 9Rating: -6

People

Sep 24, 2018 at 6:49pm

Regardless of what gender we’re talking about, it’s completely normal for someone involved with a new love interest to immerse themselves with that person. Oh sure, all the popular advice says it’s a terrible thing to do, but humans just seem to do it anyway. My suggestion (from someone who’s been around long enough to have not only done it myself but watched all of my friends do it too) is to just let it ride. Stop freaking out, understand that this is completely normal and it’s not personal, and give them the time they need to regain some normality in their life. A new relationship often is very intense and takes up a lot of time, especially when both people are working full time. There’s only so many date nights available, right? Just relax!

7 6Rating: +1

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