Still a mother

Lost my children before they were born. Happened 5 times. My husband left eventually to find someone who could give him kids. I am grieving even though society does not allow it, people actually asked me today, how far along I was. Because I was only allowed to grieve if it was past a certain point. I ignored the question. I still grieve. It is still a loss. Be compassionate people. Do not ask inappropriate questions. Be kind. No one said sorry for your loss.

13 Comments

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very sad

Sep 23, 2018 at 10:15am

Sorry for your loss.

8 5Rating: +3

So sorry

Sep 23, 2018 at 10:43am

It’s one of those things that our society still gets wrong. It was 40 years ago and I still remember my baby’s due date. I wasn’t married but I loved my baby and wanted him. The only thing people said to me was “it’s for the best”, as if I should be happy about it. So I totally understand that what you experienced was a loss and that you are grieving. I’m so sorry for your losses.

18 1Rating: +17

Depends on your point of view

Sep 23, 2018 at 12:25pm

I’m sorry for your loss. I know to some people, having children is the be all end all but having your own is the most selfish and spoiled thing you can do. Adoption is kind hearted and compassionate. If you are so desperate please consider that option.

4 21Rating: -17

I’m so sorry

Sep 23, 2018 at 12:50pm

Sending you healing, I wish you peace and happiness

9 1Rating: +8

OP- Adoption

Sep 23, 2018 at 4:58pm

Would love to do it. Will depend on my age as well.

Sharon

11 2Rating: +9

Thank you

Sep 23, 2018 at 6:52pm

Thank you for your kindness and understanding. @So Sorry. Sorry for your pain and loss. It is a wound that will never heal. I do foster little ones around the world who need help. Maybe one day I will help some close by. I have no issues with adoption, unfortunately it is not as easy as one would think as a single woman. And my husband did not support that option.

Love to all of you

OP

10 5Rating: +5

@Depends on your point of view

Sep 23, 2018 at 7:20pm

The most condescending thing you can do is tell people you know better than they do how they should live their life.

10 6Rating: +4

@depends

Sep 23, 2018 at 7:26pm

Are you kidding me? This is what you say to someone grieving the loss of their children? I sure as hell hope that you never have children of your own, whether biological or adopted. You’re appallingly insensitive.

10 7Rating: +3

So sorry for your heartache

Sep 24, 2018 at 6:27pm

When it happened to me I was surprised at how deep the grief was. I wasn't expecting to feel that level of loss. I can't imagine going through that five times. It's not talked about and that just makes it so much harder. I hope you find the strength you need.

3 5Rating: -2

It’s true

Sep 24, 2018 at 11:56pm

Miscarriage is not something that’s talked about
Makes it even more difficult

3 5Rating: -2

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