Tool

You are a tool. You spent months telling me how great I am and how I'm worth more than the way all those men treated me (ie like dirt), then you get wasted, tell me you fucking LOVE me and then disappear when you find out I have feelings for you too. Thanks for the confirmation that I'm not really worth more after all, I guess. I'll keep my heart locked up in a box from now on! Tool.

8 Comments

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On you

Sep 10, 2018 at 2:05pm

Sounds like you are letting random people (me included) play with your self-esteem and self-respect. That's giving away a lot of your own power and it also won't work - "they" will always let you down, because you are letting yourself down & why should anyone else treat you better than you treat yourself? You may wish to read "Codependent No More".

9 8Rating: +1

Thrag987D.W

Sep 10, 2018 at 3:58pm

Don't do it hun ! I know how you feel , I have been with a girl who locked her heart in a box . Then I fell totally over the hill in love with one who same thing another fking box , a lot more security though . We weren't even a couple we started as friends and sadly ended as enemies . I fully believe with all my heart if she could have been more patient with me and tried a little more understanding . Well who knows maybe she may of actually found she could not have done better , if she left the planet in search of mister awesome in space . I only wanted to love with all my heart , keep happy and content with all my strength , also safe with all the wisdom and reason . I would have learned and never again let happen any mistakes I made unintentionally that may of hurt her . So that she would only ever want to love me ,care for me and do her best to show me how to be a better man each and every day .

4 9Rating: -5

@on you

Sep 10, 2018 at 8:24pm

Why is it her responsibility? Seriously, why? This attitude is precisely why jerks get away with treating others badly! Our whole society is brainwashed with this complete bs idea that if we “allow” ourselves to be hurt then it’s our fault. We need to take a giant step back with this crap, because although it sounds great; empowering people and so on, it’s also allowing abusive people to get away with it! No Op, it’s not your fault that some jerk mistreated you. It’s HIS fault for being a jerk.

13 3Rating: +10

WTF is the deal with women

Sep 10, 2018 at 10:01pm

One or two guys ghost them or whatever,they're ruined for life and whining here and everywhere else.
Try being a guy,getting rejected and denigrated continually. Have to be on point,say the right things at the right time, show interest in her but not too much or you're creepy,have the right look and shoes and hair etc etc etc and all you women have to do is stand there. And take pleasure in the attention and turning guys down.
Trade places for a month,go out and get rejected 400 times and get back to us.

6 6Rating: 0

Stanley

Sep 11, 2018 at 8:04am

When I am wasted I tell everybody that I love them. And it's true. I do. That's one of the reasons hangovers are so brutal: am I depressed because I see life for the brutal joke it is or when I snap out of it the next day is normalcy really just a return to the delusion of decency? Which is it?

3 0Rating: +3

@@on you

Sep 11, 2018 at 9:20am

hmmm.... for real? You don't see any red flags with language like:
"than the way all those men treated me"? How many times has this particular tape played if this person has been treated this way repeatedly? No problem with this person pinning all their hopes on a knight coming to the rescue and seeing the 'real' person and therefore treating them well ... magically ... when this person has allowed themselves to be treated badly so often in the past?

How about this bit "Thanks for the confirmation that I'm not really worth more after all, I guess. I'll keep my heart locked up in a box from now on! " ...? You don't see how this person is allowing some random a******'s behaviour to make big choices and decisions for them? How they are choosing to allow the jerk to set the terms of how they'll interact with others in the future?

It's not a matter of being to blame for someone treating you badly - that's going to happen and it's on them. But when it happens over and over, and you chose to believe it, take it to heart and alter your way of being because of it then yes, you are abdicating responsibility for yourself and your choices.

7 3Rating: +4

@@@on you

Sep 11, 2018 at 11:21pm

Again you’re victim blaming. There are many reasons why some people wind up in repeated relationships with someone who mistreated them. Absolutely that person should try to learn why that keeps happening. It does not mean that they are in ANY way responsible for the abuse! That is 100% the responsibility of the perpetrator of the abuse. Some people had the misfortune of being raised in an emotionally abusive situation and are often left vulnerable to being similarly abused by subsequent important people in their life. It may take a very long time for them to recognize the pattern and get help to cope with the result of the abuse, and hopefully be able to heal from the past abuse and learn how to prevent themselves from being in the same situation again. Telling someone that it’s “on them” is so typical of our society, and I think it’s one of the main reasons why we have a virtual epidemic of narcissists who repeatedly mistreat others. As long as no one is calling them out on it, and instead is focusing the blame for it on the person who “allowed” it, then these people will never stop.

3 3Rating: 0

How the F

Sep 12, 2018 at 2:07pm

is this a 'confirmation you are not worth more at all'??

That is your conclusion, not based on anything other than that a person doesn't want to be with you.
If that is the way you act and talk, I don't blame them.
You need to get your shit together.

1 3Rating: -2

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