I had a beautiful relationship with someone recently, but we had to end it (even though neither of us wanted to) for very complex reasons not worth hashing out here. He wanted us to still stay in texting contact, but I asked for a no contact rule so that I could get over him faster, and he could focus on what he needed to focus on. I've missed him deep in my bones, and I've resisted texting him SO much over the past few months, but I've known it was for the best. It was tough getting over him (or more accurately-it was tough getting over "us"), but slowly I did. I started dating someone else, and the urge to text him became less and less, and when I thought of him it was with affection and happiness for what had been, as opposed to sadness for what *could* have been. So....when I started reading this book, and it reminded me of him constantly, I thought-what's the harm in texting him a book recommendation?
And then I realized that when my iPhone deleted all my contacts for the last 3 years, that that included him. And that I had deleted all our conversations on iMessage so that I wouldn't be tempted to read them and then text him, so there was no record of him in my phone. And that I thus legitimately can not ever text him again...that I have no way of getting ahold of him. It seems crazy in this day and age...but it's true.
And even though I know this is probably a good thing...I have felt sick in my heart all day. He will never text me, because I expressively asked him not to. So this is truly, truly the end.
My confession is that even though I should not be, I am sad. I guess I still miss him more than I was admitting.
The Georgia Straight: A 50th Anniversary Celebration Book
This beautifully produced coffee-table book brings together over 100 of Georgia Straight's iconic covers, along with short essays, insider details and contributor reflections, putting each of these issues of the publication into its historical context.