the real end

I had a beautiful relationship with someone recently, but we had to end it (even though neither of us wanted to) for very complex reasons not worth hashing out here. He wanted us to still stay in texting contact, but I asked for a no contact rule so that I could get over him faster, and he could focus on what he needed to focus on. I've missed him deep in my bones, and I've resisted texting him SO much over the past few months, but I've known it was for the best. It was tough getting over him (or more accurately-it was tough getting over "us"), but slowly I did. I started dating someone else, and the urge to text him became less and less, and when I thought of him it was with affection and happiness for what had been, as opposed to sadness for what *could* have been. So....when I started reading this book, and it reminded me of him constantly, I thought-what's the harm in texting him a book recommendation? And then I realized that when my iPhone deleted all my contacts for the last 3 years, that that included him. And that I had deleted all our conversations on iMessage so that I wouldn't be tempted to read them and then text him, so there was no record of him in my phone. And that I thus legitimately can not ever text him again...that I have no way of getting ahold of him. It seems crazy in this day and age...but it's true. And even though I know this is probably a good thing...I have felt sick in my heart all day. He will never text me, because I expressively asked him not to. So this is truly, truly the end. My confession is that even though I should not be, I am sad. I guess I still miss him more than I was admitting.

12 Comments

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Ms. Leyla Parsons

Oct 17, 2018 at 11:27pm

Why shouldn't you be sad? Why would your sadness be wrong? You are sad because you are human, and because you have been involved in what seems to have been a very beautiful love story. You will get over your sadness, but that's for later. Now, let it happen, and live through it and learn from it. One day you will remember it, and the whole affair, and you will smile, without sadness.

10 3Rating: +7

Not right

Oct 18, 2018 at 12:27am

I can relate to the heartache of missing someone that you had to break up with even though you still love each other. But I don't approve of moving on so fast, and getting into another relationship before you're ready. It's not fair to your current partner. The beginning of a relationship should be special and memorable, not just a rebound. Also, you shouldn't try to contact your ex when you still have feelings for him, it's just wrong even if you're not thinking of cheating. Emotional affairs are a thing. How would you feel if you were in your boyfriend's shoes, knowing that he's still thinking about his ex and tries to contact her? If you love someone, you shouldn't do things that hurt them.

12 6Rating: +6

And that’s why....

Oct 18, 2018 at 6:02am

.....you posted here. You’re hoping that he’ll read it and that he’ll contact you.

16 2Rating: +14

A man

Oct 18, 2018 at 6:34am

If he truly misses you, he would reach out. All of the excuse here about the Me Too movement and women need to make the first move is pathetic. So, please stop missing him and move on because he doesn't.

Girl.

Oct 18, 2018 at 7:01am

I feel you. Maybe the answer is to teach yourself to live with the ache.

13 4Rating: +9

Ummmm

Oct 18, 2018 at 10:02am

If you were dating don’t you know where he lives? I know it’s almost unheard of nowadays but there is still such a thing as writing an actual letter and mailing it you know! Unless of course this guy happens to be married, in which case you should leave him alone.

10 7Rating: +3

What about...

Oct 18, 2018 at 10:09am

Facebook? Instagram? LinkedIn? Maybe Google their blog if they have one. Often those blogs screen comments so you could send a test message and, if it doesn't auto post you know they screen and you can send something more meaningful.

6 6Rating: 0

What about...

Oct 18, 2018 at 10:09am

Facebook? Instagram? LinkedIn? Maybe Google their blog if they have one. Often those blogs screen comments so you could send a test message and, if it doesn't auto post you know they screen and you can send something more meaningful.

5 6Rating: -1

Surrend ipity

Oct 18, 2018 at 11:52am

I don’t know if you believe in serendipity but it’s possible you will cross paths again. I had an ex who I ran into this year. I told him we should cut all contact when we broke up and then I always wondered how he was. When I ran into him I got a very powerful sense of closure and happiness for him.

7 6Rating: +1

my name doesnt matter

Oct 18, 2018 at 6:17pm

maybe he misses you as much as you miss him, maybe he realized he messed up and how he could have had something amazing.
but out of respect, he wont contact you unless you buzz him first, as for your deleting all his contact info, someone else said it, face book, email, and such, unless you know the same people, or like someone else said, if you dated him, you know where he lives, write him a letter telling him your thoughts and how you feel and drop it off at his place.

9 3Rating: +6

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