As someone who doesn’t do drugs

A lot of the men in this city do drugs. The last 3 guys I dated were all from different backgrounds, walks of life and worked in various fields of employment. I met one online and two in person. All of them were actively struggling with addiction, relapsed or in some sort of recovery program. This weekend I went on a date with someone who I thought was cute and from his photos looked like a fit healthy guy. When I mentioned my last relationship didn’t work because my ex relapsed this person then revealed he was still going through his recovery process of using multiple hard drugs. He was at least honest enough with me to admit he was at risk of relapsing after our first date. Decided not going to continue dating this person, I’ve been through way too much heartbreak. Is there something wrong with me? Am I just picking the wrong dudes? Is there something wrong with this city? Is Vancouver really that fucked up? It also just baffles me that the men I am finding myself on dates with continue to play Russian roulette with party drugs (like coke) while the opioid crisis is going on. Don’t get it, at all.

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Mitch

Oct 11, 2018 at 11:05am

So if they say in their profiles they like reading and checking out new restaurants that's a deal killer?

Well, your issue

Oct 11, 2018 at 11:12am

Sounds like you go for the most attractive men, and the only ones who are single are the fucked up ones. Then there are the nice guys.

I'm out of the rat-race, but good luck :)

Yes,

Oct 11, 2018 at 12:11pm

You're picking the wrong dudes.
Try giving men outside Vancouver a chance. Yes, that means interacting with men from (gasp) the dreaded suburbs. It might also help if you were more open to dating outside your race. There's a lot of good men out there who are a great catch; they just don't look contestants for "The Bachelorette."

Anonymous

Oct 11, 2018 at 12:45pm

Don't listen to these losers. You need higher standards girl, not struggling with substance abuse for starters.

You....

Oct 11, 2018 at 12:47pm

like the bad boys hey.

Addiction

Oct 11, 2018 at 1:05pm

I'm so glad that person was honest with you. It sounds like he is a good dude and I hope that he can remain clean long enough to feel confident that he can stay clean. He was able to be honest with you because you openly expressed that it was important to you to have a partner that doesn't have addiction issues. It sounds to me like you've figured it out, that some part of you somehow finds guys that do drugs. Almost none of my male friends do drugs so I can assure you that there are many guys that don't do drugs. Keep dating and being honest.

40 9Rating: +31

?

Oct 11, 2018 at 1:23pm

What do you think about alcohol, drug or no?

Here's my hunch...

Oct 11, 2018 at 3:49pm

Vancouver as drug capital (both soft and hard drugs)
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The upheaval of the males role in society
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The new championing of women
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Despair and confusion for young men = drug abuse
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Rightly or wrongly, men in general, have been thrown under the bus. Opportunities have been removed and they are told every single day that they no longer hold positions of influence. They are confused and lost. It's a very tumultuous time for men. I think it's navigable for the older guys as they are established and able to handle the shift better. But younger men don't have the underlying experience and psychological tools to navigate the upheaval. So they medicate.

Nope

Oct 11, 2018 at 4:37pm

I never dated any man who takes drugs. It might be prevalent in some circles. But I mostly date people I meet through school or work. It's very sad indeed. I'm sure he's a great guy but better to avoid to save yourself from heartache.

21 5Rating: +16

It gets better

Oct 11, 2018 at 6:32pm

You don't say how old you are - but if you are in your 20s, in my experience the dating pool gets smaller as you get older, but the quality gets better. When I was in my 20s I met people who did drugs too. So I took a long break - started volunteering with animal organizations to be with beings that really wanted my help and appreciated it. I got older, other people got older and all of a sudden the party was just too expensive. So people calm down as they get older. But I have to admit - the boys I still love and think about and wish I could be with the most are the ones I met in my 20s. The dysfunctional ones.

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