My life right now is that quote from the Batman movie, "I guess you either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain."
I feel like I've turned into all the worst aspects of all the worst people that damaged me growing up. I know that if I were to be a hero, and true to that kind, sweet person that I was, that I wouldn't have actually let any of the drama damage me. I would still be a good person...but I've done so many awful things now that I don't really know if I can be a good person anymore.
My impulses are the worst. How do you stop the fear, the paranoia, the psychotic thoughts and tendencies? One moment I'm the face of pure love, joy and peace in your arms...the next, as quick as a thought, I'm Pure Evil and explosive and unwavering in my anger and lashing out at you again. I don't know how to stop it.
Can't I just land on the good side and stay there? I don't want to do these things. I don't like feeling like this. I want you in my life, but I'm scared that I'm too broken and all I'll ever keep doing is hurting you and letting us both down.
I know who I want to be, but the devil in me is a freaking titan.
The Georgia Straight: A 50th Anniversary Celebration Book
This beautifully produced coffee-table book brings together over 100 of Georgia Straight's iconic covers, along with short essays, insider details and contributor reflections, putting each of these issues of the publication into its historical context.