Boundaries

I set an important personal goal for myself this year, to practice setting boundaries. After enduring years of abuse from some people in my life who simply ignored what I said and treated me very disrespectfully anyway, something in me had just finally had enough. It’s been really hard because In doing it I had to end a relationship with someone who I loved very much, and distance myself from some family members and friends. It’s been very lonely. On the upside, I’ve started to feel more peace inside me instead of the feeling of seething resentment, and I’ve begun to deal with the original trauma(s) that resulted in me not understanding how important setting boundaries and sticking to them really is to our self esteem. Still a long way to go, but it’s taken my whole life to get to this place and I know that total change is not going to happen overnight, and there will be times where I weaken and want to bring back the person who hurt me the most, but I know that it’s really me that I have to please now, since I’m the only one who is responsible for my own happiness.

8 Comments

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You go girl

Nov 14, 2018 at 6:51pm

Just know that some people will never respect boundaries. Do not always blame yourself. Just means you have to remove them from your life. Or they change. They will become angry first when you set them. Shows you who your true friends and family are.

9 4Rating: +5

Yay you

Nov 14, 2018 at 7:00pm

You sound like you’re in a good place. Don’t succumb to the guilt from loved ones. Keep those boundaries intact.

9 3Rating: +6

You are responsible

Nov 17, 2018 at 1:19am

For your happiness and my hapenis

0 7Rating: -7

Be careful

Nov 17, 2018 at 1:07pm

Have your boundaries but those people who feel entitled to abusing you will usually get their revenge and try to bring you down. Don't listen to them . I respected my boundaries and have had a smear campaign thrown my way, to the point where the person slandered, stalked, harassed, gossiped, did unbelievable things...all because I respected my boundaries. Keep them anyway. The only person who should feel shitty, who should feel shame and guilt is the perpetrator. I don't feel any of those things, because what happens to me is out of my control, and it is happening to me, not me doing something to someone else. Boundaries are important, but just pray you don't become the target of the wrong person, they will hate you for not being able to abuse your boundaries.

5 2Rating: +3

@ you are responsible

Nov 17, 2018 at 1:08pm

but...your ha'penis' is disgusting and floppy and a complete turn off. Been there, done that. NO THANKS

7 2Rating: +5

Yes

Nov 17, 2018 at 5:08pm

Yes its great to have boundaries, but at the same time, take the high road while exercising those boundaries and not shame others for not knowing your specific rules and regulations.. and always take it up with the person who you feel is pushing those boundaries.. rather than 'gossiping' about it to others.

0 5Rating: -5

Royal Ottawa

Nov 19, 2018 at 1:49am

Has clearly defined enclosures just waiting for an occupant like you

1 4Rating: -3

@yes

Nov 19, 2018 at 11:07pm

Op. Sure, but what if the reason you had to leave that person behind is because they knew what your boundaries were and ignored them anyway? In my case that person was told repeatedly what they were doing that I wasn’t comfortable with, but they just didn’t care. Fine to say “take the high road” when you’re not the one who has done all the compromising and all the tolerating and all the sucking it up, while the person taking advantage of you plays the victim when you finally gotten completely fed up.

2 1Rating: +1

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