Conflicted

My mind hates you. My heart loves you.

11 Comments

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So ...

Nov 14, 2018 at 11:05pm

Listen to your HEART :)

12 5Rating: +7

If it's not both

Nov 14, 2018 at 11:52pm

leave the person alone.

11 8Rating: +3

Who?

Nov 15, 2018 at 12:13pm

My mind and heart both love someone. Is it you? 1 in 7 billion, yeah must be

14 1Rating: +13

Same boat

Nov 15, 2018 at 12:43pm

And this was likely for me.

12 6Rating: +6

Anonymous

Nov 15, 2018 at 1:23pm

well for their sake, keep your feelings to yourself.

7 9Rating: -2

OP @ If it's not both & Anonymous

Nov 16, 2018 at 1:20am

I'll do as I please. However if I wasn't keeping my feeling to myself, and leaving them alone, I would not be posting here. No thanks for your unsolicited advice. As for those of you that took this post intended specifically for you.. maybe it was, and maybe it wasn't. You never know.

7 5Rating: +2

You're conflicted because

Nov 16, 2018 at 11:31am

you've given your mind so much power over your life due to a wounded heart from previous mishaps when you were not as experienced in life.
Think about this: you could be with certain people that may be considered ideal, but the ones you do choose to be around cause your heart to warm up with. Some of them may not seem like logical choices. Yet, you trust your heart and, surprise, surprise, you open up your heart to the kind of person who makes your heart feel good. And your mind sees what the heart already knew, so there is no conflict.
We have no idea why you are resisting your heart with this particular case. We do know that trust seems to be the core of this. The mind is your servant, to help your heart figure out how to have what it wants. The mind is not the master (fun trick: record yourself talking to yourself, that is the mind in charge. Then listen to it and you'll see all the senseless rambling...that should be a wake-up call when you see the mind in charge). It serves you; it's a tool. Do you let tools make the decisions? No. And because your heart was wounded before, your mind is trying to help you but it is drowning out your heart. Your heart is trying to tell you what it knows is purely right. Your heart always knows the truth. And that includes the truth about you, what makes you happy and what is right for you.
The easiest way to educate your heart while satisfying your mind is to have a "heart-to-heart" talk with this person. Be open, share and see what happens.
Open your heart. Remind the mind that it is not in charge, you are, and that it is there to serve the heart. Let your mind check with your heart. Give yourself permission to be happy.

4 9Rating: -5

Stop

Nov 16, 2018 at 11:42am

Wild guess....whatever happened in the past, it's the past. You have doubts because of the past. Stop letting what was dictate what will be, because...
...people do change, situations change. Your heart is screaming to you. Communicate. Give it one last go, total honesty, both the pain and the feelings you still have. Spell it out so even an idiot can get it. Be detailed as possible when you do.
You have nothing to lose.

8 3Rating: +5

Always...

Nov 17, 2018 at 1:00pm

go with your head over your heart and you will never regret it

4 7Rating: -3

False choice

Nov 17, 2018 at 8:00pm

@always
There is no safety this side of the grave, and a life without risks is not worth living.
Intellect can show ways to achieve that which the heart desires. Obsessive self-protection is not a virtue, just a socially acceptable form of cowardice.

Sure, the head is useful for understanding the odds.
They're mostly bad.
Only about one in twenty is a worthwhile person, and that's on a good day. Take the risk anyway, because the payoff is beyond price. And in failure I can learn. Success and stasis have little room for growth and evolution.
No pain, no gain. Trying to avoid suffering only invites a different kind of suffering.
"Life is pain, Highness..."

2 4Rating: -2

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