Not Settling

I am a good person and I deserve love in my life. Its hard dating in the city. Most men are only after one thing and once they get it they disappear. My friends and I are all beautiful, intelligent, hard working, and accomplished people yet we're all single. I will not settle for anyone who doesn't light my soul on fire.

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Fabio

Nov 13, 2018 at 10:31pm

"I will not settle for anyone who doesn't light my soul on fire." Yeah, ok. This is the kind of shit someone says when they've read one too many romance novels and expects what's in those pages to play out in real life. You might as well say, "I won't settle until I find a swashbuckler who commandeers my ship, tears off my corset, and calls me m'lady." Anywho, hope you like cats.

Just

Nov 13, 2018 at 10:33pm

get a dog already

here we go again

Nov 13, 2018 at 10:36pm

good, deserve, most men, beautiful, intelligent, hard working, and accomplished... Did you hear yourself?! Thank God that you exist. Such a blessing for all of us to have you.

Hey, sweetie

Nov 13, 2018 at 10:44pm

Did you just name yourself beautiful, intelligent, hard working and accomplished? Who assessed you on these characteristics? Your parents? Friends? They must have be unbiased and telling you truth...

who doesn't light my soul on fire

Nov 13, 2018 at 10:50pm

Keep watching Disney

Deserve?

Nov 13, 2018 at 11:24pm

I don't understand this whole 'deserve' concept. Why do you expect to be rewarded in life just for being a decent human being? Do you think all the people in the world suffering atrocities due to war and poverty "deserve" what they're getting?

Of course you shouldn't settle, but expecting another human to light your soul on fire is a pretty tall order. That's a ton of pressure for other humans who are flawed, just like you. Be careful what you wish for because if you go through life expecting your soul to be lit on fire you might just get the flamethrower.

61 7Rating: +54

I’m a romantic too,

Nov 14, 2018 at 1:41am

I have slightly lower expectations but I get it. FWIW I’m a dude and I prefer the long game. We do exist. Yup been single a long time tho. Keep getting overlooked

Jeez... The women haters on here

Nov 14, 2018 at 2:05am

God forbid a woman has the self confidence to see her own value and the beauty in her friends and their wonderful traits.... As if women don't deal with enough in terms of not feeling good enough, or smart enough. yet men can say these things about themselves..... Ignore the rude comments by these guys....it's easier for people to be assholes than try to show kindness or basic decency....
Good, kind hearted men are out there, but it seems like they're in short supply....

All of us want love, and want human connection. That passion though is often reserved for the honeymoon stage, but it gets replaced and grows into mutual love, respect, understanding, and support etc. When I worked with seniors, the amazing 30, 40, 50 plus years of marriage they spoke of were so beautiful. Every single one however spoke about the hard hard work, ups and downs, sacrifices, compromises and struggles as well as love. what they each had was a connection that was so deep and profound it left me in awe. Many of us can only dream of such a love, many of us want it, but time will tell if marriages of this generation and future ones will last like these older generations.

many of us question why not me? I certainly have, and gotten down, but I also realized and looked back at love I did have. I've met only a couple really good, kind men that treated me with love and respect, but it wasn't meant to be... I've dated men that were terrible when feeling lonely and been hurt badly, and urge you not to do this.

It's hard especially this time of year, myself included, and it is really hard, but you need to still live your life. You do NOT need to settle. Ive seen far too many amazing, independent, gorgeous, kind women that settle for men that treat them horribly, cheat, abuse them and put it up with it because they fear being single. Please don't settle for someone that treats you poorly.

Also recognize it's about finding the perfect imperfect person that is right for you. No one is perfect, and far too many men and some women have unreasonable standards. Men often covet beauty and youth over everything else, (that tinder story about the 69 year old arguing to be 49 and not getting matches is one extreme example), and women often have romanticized notions of love due to unrealistic portrayals in awful rom com movies etc. It may happen, it may not. Just enjoy, and live your life.

Good luck...

Nov 14, 2018 at 6:08am

... but the perfect is the enemy of the good, as they say. There are plenty of good men, but they probably don't check every box on your list. As female hypergamy continues to be exposed online, the game is up---it's not that there are no "good men," it's that there are no men who satisfy every box on your checklist.

Women are the gatekeepers of the mating/marriage marketplace. The obvious conclusion is that, when a woman is aging and single, she'd simply too picky. And you have every right to be picky, by too picky I don't mean you have some moral flaw, I mean that if your expectations are conditioned by massmedia, e.g. sitcoms and romcoms, rather than the idea that everything in life is a compromise, you're not going to get very far.

Would you consider a balding 5'2 ethnic janitor, would he be capable of lighting your soul on fire, or is he out of the running because of his "personality"?

23 5Rating: +18

You forgot

Nov 14, 2018 at 7:50am

Narcissistic in your self evaluation

20 5Rating: +15

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