so disgusting

I'm a really ugly girl and it's so hard. I just want to scream and rip all my skin off. I know guys care a lot about looks, and none of them will ever want me. Even if I do date a guy, he will just constantly hate me and think he deserves someone better than me. It's more than just guys though. I can never go help people in my life because if I try they will just be upset by how disgusting I am. I won't ever get hired, and people won't like me, because of the halo effect. God.

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32

Nov 16, 2018 at 2:57pm

Half of being attractive seems to be clothing, make up and grooming. If you can somehow find help and money for that I think it would help. Humans have been scientifically shown to be biased towards physical beauty but people who have developed kindness and self awareness can usually get beyond looks and love someone as the whole person. If youve develop kindness, compassion and humour as well I don’t think you will end up without others. But yeah, people sure can be dickheads so I’m not saying that it’s easy to navigate being or feeling ugly.

34 4Rating: +30

Many,many

Nov 16, 2018 at 3:08pm

Short,bald,paunchy,socially awkward guys with low paying/ low status jobs that get passed over by women (in the same condition) who are looking for the tall dark handsome guy.

Hi OP

Nov 16, 2018 at 4:27pm

Some of the coolest and sexiest women I have ever met, and been romantic with are also not physically, traditionally beautiful. But their personality and attitude and the way they carry themselves is irresistible. They see themselves as confident and smart and compassionate, and they walk like it. They don't see their body as shameful, they just rock what they have. And that confidence is as irresistible to men as it is to women. Everything comes down to attitude. We all know beautiful women who go out with less than beautiful men - because those men are witty and smart and confident and funny. I know a few guys like that, and they always have gorgeous GF's.

Sure you will find guys who just want perfect little yoga hotties and nothing else matters. But that's not the type of guy you're interested in. You're into men with substance and integrity... the types who would love to approach you, if you carried yourself with dignity and confidence (there's that word again).

Work on your self-esteem and walk proudly. Look people in the eyes and speak directly to them with a smile... don't be shy. Be quiet if you want, but not shy. At the end of the day, who cares what others think, life is short darling! You might be surprised by the amount of attention you receive.

@Many,many

Nov 16, 2018 at 6:00pm

Yeah, but she's not looking for them, she wants a guy who checks off her list.

This sort of stuff from a woman is simply unbelievable. A 2/10 obese woman posts on instagram or lots of places and she gets tons of dudes telling she's beautiful. A 2/10 obese dude doesn't get the same treatment.

9 32Rating: -23

Women are too harsh on themselves

Nov 16, 2018 at 8:55pm

Has anyone told you that you are ugly? Has anyone told you that you are disgusting? Or are you alone labeling yourself these unkind things? It might be your own self talk.

You are not your looks. You can do things that have NOTHING to do with your appearance. You might make killer dinners. You might code cool apps. You might draw and paint like a champ.

When we derive ALL of our self esteem from our looks, we ignore the other amazing beautiful surprising skills and talents inside us. Maybe you’re good at playing the piano. Or singing. Or running. How you look doesn’t matter in any of these areas.

I see this affliction in women who don’t develop themselves outside of their appearance. They beat themselves up because they’re not size 0, that their eyes are the wrong shape, that they have wrinkles.

You are a person who has radiant gifts. What are they? What moves you and what excites you?

I’m an average appearing woman and I’m not insecure at all about my looks because I do a whole lot of cool shit that gives me a ton of self confidence. Sure, looking pretty is fun, but it is not the basis for your self worth.

Go find the areas that you excel in.

26 5Rating: +21

@@many,many

Nov 16, 2018 at 9:24pm

Because most of the men you describe have shit personalities as well as shit looks...such as yourself.

@ many

Nov 16, 2018 at 11:14pm

There you go again, Mr one trick pony.. playing the same old song of poor me. You need a few years of therapy dude.

Its

Nov 16, 2018 at 11:31pm

It's all in the mind, we are what we think we are, confidence is sexier that looks.

14 6Rating: +8

@@@many,many

Nov 17, 2018 at 8:51am

So, 100 lbs. overweight obese woman gets <3 <3 <3 "you go girl" "beautiful at any size", DMs offering dates, casual sex, etc. it's because deep down everyone can tell she has a good personality.

100 lbs. overweight obese man gets nothing, and it's because everyone can tell that he has a bad personality?

The only difference is that one is a woman, one is a man. It's not personality.

Rather than trying to manufacture this unquantifiable thing "personality" why not just admit that women are pretty much inherently sexually desirable to men, and that only a small minority of men are inherently sexually desirable?

NPCs all say it's personality because they don't want to face the reality that most reproductive success is mediated by genetics, unless there's some prevailing social order that enforces a 1:1 mating ritual. We don't have that normative order anymore, so men will go back to the way they lived in primate tribes or just when agriculture was instituted, before monotheism and other social ordering devices. A few men will mate with lots of women, and lots of men will die without issue. It will be even worse than in pre-history/agricultural genesis, because at those times, there were not really abortions and birth control and condoms. Now that there are, and women can work (and earn most of the degrees in the Universities due to systemic discrimination against male libido, but that's another issue) and earn their own money, they will only mate with the most desirable men.

And I'm not saying this is wrong at all---but we can at least be honest about it, rather than trying to gaslight ugly men into thinking the real issue is their "personalities." This sort of behavior really does border on gaslighting, if not actually being gaslighting, it's an attempt to convince men they're crazy if they think genetics and facial shape are the major influences on male reproduction, rather than learnable things like "personality." Brad Pitt didn't learn to be Brad Pitt, he was born that way.

8 15Rating: -7

Clearly

Nov 17, 2018 at 9:00am

The original post was NOT written by a woman.
You people are daft and easily baited.
There are a few woman haters on here that love to stir the pot.

10 7Rating: +3

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