Stop Asking Women When / If They are going to have kids

A woman just got married? Had one child already? 2? In their 30s? No matter what the circumstance, it is NOT appropriate to ask women if they want to have children. Ask about their life. Their dreams, their goals, their career. Someone could be going through loss, miscarriage, infertility, issues with their marriage, or can't decide if they want kids yet, they're trying to learn about themselves, or perhaps they don't want kids etc etc. It is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Just stop!

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they're trying to learn about themselves

Nov 12, 2018 at 7:13pm

and exploring their sexuality...

5 16Rating: -11

Women are so selfish...

Nov 12, 2018 at 7:32pm

... if I were a woman, I'd have had a half dozen kids by now.

7 26Rating: -19

What is wrong with people

Nov 12, 2018 at 7:32pm

I used to get the when you and your wife going to have kids all the time personally it didn’t bother me but I could understand how people could ask such personal questions I always wondered what it would be like for those who cannot have kids or lost a pregnancy.
And why people would ask that question with out knowing if someone had those issues to deal with.
One day I was in the lunch room at work and this particularly crass co worker that was all up in everyone’s business asked me with this juggling tone “ when are you and your wife going to have some kids”
I looked her in the eye and said I’d be happy to answer that question but first I’d like to know how much she weighed.
Of course she was mortified “how could you ask me such a personal question”
I said how is it any less personal than what you just asked me.
People can fuck right off with that one unless you are a very close friend of family member you have no business asking such things.

Amen

Nov 12, 2018 at 7:49pm

Cruel and Ignorant people ask such rude questions. Right up there with commenting on your weight. I went through a few pregnancies but lost the babies. I did not say anything because I was high risk. But so many comments about needing to losing weight, or after when I had. Just sick.

22 8Rating: +14

So.....

Nov 13, 2018 at 1:08am

do you eventually want to have children of your own ?

Meh

Nov 13, 2018 at 9:29am

They don't even ask me my name before they ask about my status.
It's flattering (briefly) before it's annoying. My identity and personality don't matter, only my utility does. I'm immediately assessed for my potential usefulness and relevance to their needs.
A very traditional, conformist society, gender roles and all. "Instrumental" relationships are the norm. I wish I could say you get used to it, but I never have. Not a fan.
That's OK. They can keep their checklists, expectations, "standards" and rules. I'll keep my individuality.

Mitch

Nov 13, 2018 at 12:27pm

I suggest we ban "small talk"...that will solve all these triggered reactions.

Polite Society.

Nov 13, 2018 at 5:03pm

They're just being polite and making conversation because they know you were just married. They most likely don't really care , that's how polite society works. What we are saying is much different from what we are thinking. That's how a polite person behaves. Personally, I could care if half of the worlds population disappeared tomorrow but I wouldn't say that publicly. I'd look like a prick.

While we're at it,

Nov 13, 2018 at 6:02pm

don't ask me if I want fries with that!

Did I ask for fries?

Do I look like a person who's too stupid to ask for fries if that's what they want?

Do you have any idea how fat I got when I used to eat fries?

Just shut the fuck up about me wanting fries!

Some people, honest to God.

Jenny

Nov 13, 2018 at 9:34pm

At a party recently, a drunk woman/ Mom asked me if I CHOSE to have one kid. I answered honestly, yes I had. But later I thought, what if I had a miscarriage, or had been trying for five years to have a second. I have always hated people asking me "when are you having your second"? One is ok, two is ok, none is ok. IN fact let's be honest, none can be the most altruistic act going--fuck if we need more waste, more consumption, and more humans on our ailing planet. Just a few thoughts....

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