Google Narcissist Personality Disorder. Be glad you are getting out early.

who does not feel the same about me and yet we've spent hours and hours together talking and laughing and hanging out. But he's been pretty clear about not wanting any kind of relationship with me. He says I'm attractive but he hasn't said that I am attractive to him and although we've been out a number of times, he has never tried to kiss me. In my heart of hearts I think we'd be an awesome team and oh my god I wish he would kiss me, but as he's spoken clearly I will respect that and will reluctantly move forward. I do want to keep seeing him though and build our friendship. Who knows maybe one day the spark will ignite. I'll be a big girl and not wait for it, but secretly I will hope for it. Ever the optimist. Damn it.

That’s what he’s doing to you. Deliberately talking about other women in front of or to you is designed to make you feel insecure, and is his way of exercising control over your emotions. It’s a classic mind game. That other comment about narcissism is accurate. People like this are all about collecting admirers, and will usually have a collection of past lovers that they keep for the occasional hookup or even just for an ego boost if their current target isn’t providing the constant applause they crave. If you’re attracted to him and he’s doing that to you, if you’re smart you’ll pack up your feelings and pride and stay far away. Doing anything else is simply delaying heartache for you, and you’ll ultimately regret it.

Attraction wanes. I was trying to remember what it was about someone that had me going for so long. I'm sure I had beautiful memories of them at one point...They've all since mutated and I see them for the eye rolling snarling ego obsessed person they were. Adios attraction.

It is hard, but when you are ready, move on. Do not wait too long. Life is too short not to fully experience love. I mean when the other person wants to participate with you!!

Ugh @ triangulation (not the poster - the concept). This is akin to “negging”, yes? What in the sweet fuck happened to just taking a chance and asking a woman out on a goddamned date? For those unfamiliar with the technique it goes like this: “hey, can I take you to dinner/an art exhibit/an old movie/snowshoeing up Cypress, etc?”

If she doesn’t like you, she’ll say “no” and you’ve saved yourself further disappointment and you move on. If she likes you, she’ll say yes and you’ll probably have a good time because you like her and she likes you and neither of you mindfucked the other to get to that place!

Also, while I’m venting, why the hell does a man need to use a bunch of manipulative techniques to suppress a woman’s confidence before he’ll actually express some kind of affection for her? How much do you really like this woman if you have to make her feel confused, insecure and generally pretty shitty for being attracted to you?

The thing about narcissism is that people who are high in those traits really aren’t interested in anything other than getting their needs met. The other person is simply used for that. What they want is never-ending adulation and control. They’re not like the rest of us who are capable of truly caring about each other, so it’s hard for us to understand how someone else could be so callously manipulative.