It happened again.

This time in a grocery store. A beautiful woman came along and I became over-aware of her and could not find a way to say hello. I’m late 40’s and I bet this has happened 4,000 times in the past 20 years! It’s painful for an extrovert to be this way. I need a small town. People talk to everybody. Everybody is everybody’s business. I like that. Is it being sensitive leaving others undisturbed so they can carry on shopping? Is it pathetic to suppress the desire to interact? Is it disingenuous to pretend to have something to say over the produce section? “Hey. Nice apples today don’t you think?”. Is it weakness pure and simple?


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Keep Trying

Dec 14, 2018 at 8:19pm

You can make small talk without looking creepy. Often times in a grocery store I will ask a woman a question to gauge her interest. It has to be relatable to the activity. For example if she's getting avocados I come over and do the same and say "I don't mean to intrude but how can you tell whether an avocado is good."

Most women will try to help you. So you made a move and see how she responds. This will tell you how to go further.

14 9Rating: +5


Dec 14, 2018 at 9:18pm

I just avoid any interactions like that.
Much of the time they're married or BF,or will say so. The rest of the time they'll look at you like you have a turd on your forehead,as you have dared interrupt them outside of the designated places (nightclub,pub) to talk to women.

Even the top pick up artists have a phone number and meet for coffee success ratio of about 5%.
Myself,I've figured out a demographic that is very friendly to talk to,and eager to go for coffee 95% of the time. Hint: they are not from here.

Small talk

Dec 14, 2018 at 9:46pm

It’s so awkward isn’t it? The apples are good this time of year.

15 3Rating: +12

It never hurts to interact

Dec 14, 2018 at 10:02pm

And what the other person decides to do with it is up to them. But then you yourself are in control of how you react if they choose to accept or reject your connection.

Live a life of as little regret as possible. And ask anyone in palliative care - we mostly regret the things we do not do.

17 6Rating: +11

Your last line

Dec 15, 2018 at 1:24am

Weakness - that's it. Grow a pair. Life is short. Take a chance.

Ask a question

Dec 15, 2018 at 7:05am

Whatever she's shopping for, ask her for advice. I've had men ask me, and I pride myself on my ability to come up with something innocuous to say when I approach a man. If her conversational skills are decent (I can't vouch for that in today's world) or if she's lonely and she's glad somebody's talking to her, she will interact with you. But if the Vancouver blanket of stress, worry, and hardship is weighing on her, then she won't. That's life.

15 7Rating: +8

This is what i do

Dec 15, 2018 at 7:31am

Im an introvert
I'm very picky
When I see a woman that I'd like to be with
I immediately say
Then smile
Most ignore me (but honestly most are interested, but I will not engage further a woman who ignores)
Some smile
Some look and smile
Some look terrified like I am the big bad wolf

I always have a follow-up in case I get the look and smile (I like smiles, do you?)
I say;
"You look beautiful do you like music?"
Everybody likes music so it's a conversation starter (if she wants to engage further)

Getting "shit down" isn't bad at all. Over the years two different women whom I asked if the were single and said no came up to me years later when they were single and we hooked up.
I like hook ups, do you?

7 14Rating: -7


Dec 15, 2018 at 9:50am

You have lots of options for produce commentary. Just avoid mentioning any puns around produce shaped like genitals. Also if the woman is much, much younger any commentary will come off creepy.

9 7Rating: +2

Do it

Dec 15, 2018 at 11:25am

Did you ever hear of that book called “Feel the fear and do it anyway”? Very good advice. Just ask yourself this: what do you have to lose by taking a chance? Nothing, right? But by not taking a chance, you lose another opportunity to meet someone great, because you never know what could have happened. Another good one is “you can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket”.

11 7Rating: +4

Wouldn't you...

Dec 15, 2018 at 12:00pm

be violating her in some way, shape or form ?

5 19Rating: -14

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