It Is Hard

I have read the posts on here about how hard it is to date here and at first I thought it was just made up by creepy guys with no social skills. Turns out it is hard dating here. I can't put my finger on why. I moved here from Ontario and its really hard to date and connect with people. I am lucky if I can get a date with a guy once a week and that's after being on multiple dating sites and putting in a ton of work. In Ontario I could get 3 or 4 dates a week if I wanted with just a few swipes and little effort. The quality of men was much higher as well. I am putting in 10 times the effort I did in dating in Ontario and am getting absolutely no results in dating here and it sucks.


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Dec 5, 2018 at 10:16am

... I guess hard is relative, but you realize that there is now a sizable cohort of men reaching age 30 without ever having held hands, let alone gone on 1 date a week, right? These guys don't admit this if they have friends.

But you tip your hand with the "quality of men." For men, most women are acceptable, there's a minority who are not. For women, it's the other way around. For men, 80% of women are acceptable. For women, 20% of men are acceptable---so 4/5 for men, 1/5 for women. Further, the 1/5 that is unacceptable to some man, this doesn't tend to mean she's universally unacceptable, it's not like all men hold the same 20% of women as "undateable." For women, the 80% of men who are undateable all share roughly the same features, it's not a matter of some women preferring short men with poorly defined jaws who make $14/hour, there's great homogeneity in what women find attractive.

None of this is right or wrong, of course, it's just staggering to hear women complain about only getting one date a week---there are plenty of men who're now reaching around 30 who've never gone on a date/held hands.

So, OP, when you say you can only get 1 date a week, is this because you have, say, 10 men swiping on you, but you think 8/10 of them are just "gag me with a spoon" types? Of the men who swipe on you, what % of them are "dateable"? If your % is less than 50%, you're just really picky, like most women---which isn't a flaw, but, obviously, 100% of the women cannot date 20% of the men.


Dec 5, 2018 at 11:07am

Yes! And if you are not one to swipe, you get 0 dates every week, year after year.

13 7Rating: +6

it's fun getting ghosted too

Dec 5, 2018 at 11:37am

went on a casual date last week, it seemed we both had fun although we didn't click on all the levels I thought we would, both of us said that we'd talk soon and then... nothing? no hard feelings, it was pretty meaningless, but at least be an adult and say something.

18 3Rating: +15


Dec 5, 2018 at 11:58am

I have great social skills and can gets dates easy....I just can't be bothered anymore

18 5Rating: +13

All of the good

Dec 5, 2018 at 11:58am

guys are taken early here I guess. :^)

12 9Rating: +3

Zero rapport, big shock..not really..

Dec 5, 2018 at 12:54pm

Not building rapport with men in your community to guage their traits, morals etc is your fault.

Do you think quality people need online dating apps to meet quality people?

I have no issues meeting women. I know its crazy talk but i speak to them first( right after they give me the subtle hints to say hello) build a rapport for a few weeks then proceed if the chemistry is there and if not, new friend.

What's your excuse for using the most immature way to meet people again?

In Ontario

Dec 5, 2018 at 1:03pm

To be considered to have been in a "common law" relationship,it is 3 continuous years of actually living under the same roof.
In BC,it is 2 years. Weekends together,going on trips, Facebook postings together,other people thinking you are a couple, etc etc and some financial entanglement is all it takes to be common law.

Then,she can (and most likely will) split and get cash and prizes,plus he gets to pay half her debts.
In other words,too risky.
In BC,17% of men have a positive view on marriage,but 85% of women do.
Good luck.

@In Ontario

Dec 5, 2018 at 2:52pm

That is a very disappointing commentary on women. We keep perpetuating stories that are not true. There are lots of women here who are not after money, they just want to share their lives with someone, love, have a great time. The focus on money in this town as everything is revolting.

@In Ontario

Dec 5, 2018 at 3:01pm

A huge part of it, yes. The other is the Socialist Left Coast reality of virtue signaling, yoga studios, granola "organic" BS that pervades everything. As a guy, your opinion on something is simply best kept to yourself. Dating? Why? Fucking? All for it. In Ontario I found people are more live and let live, not as cliquey.


Dec 5, 2018 at 3:15pm

If a woman has more assets and money than their partner and they divorce, would her partner still be entitled to 50%?

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