What benefit is there for anyone else to know how you feel?
It depends. Were you are asked for your honest opinion? Would your honest opinion cause offence? Do you benefit, in the long term, from that person taking offence?
The democratic delusion that everyone is created interesting and valuable has led to the wholesale dismemberment of a very valuable principle, which is to keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open.
Telling people what you really think creates a tactical disadvantage in many or even most situation!
The Problem...
Dec 6, 2018 at 1:42pm
"Telling people what you really think creates a tactical disadvantage in many or even most situation!"
This sort of behavior splits your soul into little pieces---you have the "honest piece" that you use with X, Y and Z and the "dishonest piece" that you use with A, B and C.
Calling it a "tactical advantage" to be two-faced---it likely is, but it's an open question whether this creates any sort of advantage for a tribe/species. But, on the other hand, in a city with a degree of anonymity, why not?
@ The Problem
Dec 6, 2018 at 4:04pm
The only thing that splits your soul is murder. Don't you read Harry Potter? And, after a while, it's fine.
Alternatively, you can just not TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH. You know, the classic unanswerable question: "Does this make my ass look fat?" You reply: "OMG, it's Donald Trump!" and then you run away.
Do you tell your boss that she looks like a five pigs in a tent? Do you tell the police officer who stopped you that, yes, you knew you were 15 km over the speed limit, but the thing is, you don't actually care? Do you tell your kids that, yes, Billy is my favourite - you've had a runny nose for three years and I wanted a girl?
Have some nuance. It's good for you. It's good for them.
@Honesty is grossly overrated
Dec 6, 2018 at 6:22pm
I don't like everyone that I come across, but I will treat them in a civil manner, and with basic human dignity, as long as they are doing likewise. I would by no means manipulate them into believing that I have some kind of affection for them, when I don't. If that's what you do, then you're a low life piece of crap.
Ffs
Dec 6, 2018 at 10:14pm
I’m assuming that the Op is talking about someone they’re in a relationship with, not just someone offering an opinion. If I’m right, then Op, I couldn’t agree more. Except there are so many narcissistic people out there who could care less about being real; they only want to use you and they’ll tell you whatever they think is going to make that easiest for them.
Anonymous
Dec 6, 2018 at 10:17pm
Who needs a tactical advantage when it comes to friendship or love??
Because
Dec 7, 2018 at 8:49am
It takes so much effort to be honest, and most people are just too lazy.
Anonymous
Dec 7, 2018 at 1:55pm
I'm not surprised Vancouver has an opioid crisis; some people's lack of honesty is as bad as any addict.
8 Comments
Post a CommentHonesty is grossly overrated
Dec 6, 2018 at 11:33am
You should know, at all times, how you feel.
What benefit is there for anyone else to know how you feel?
It depends. Were you are asked for your honest opinion? Would your honest opinion cause offence? Do you benefit, in the long term, from that person taking offence?
The democratic delusion that everyone is created interesting and valuable has led to the wholesale dismemberment of a very valuable principle, which is to keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open.
Telling people what you really think creates a tactical disadvantage in many or even most situation!
The Problem...
Dec 6, 2018 at 1:42pm
"Telling people what you really think creates a tactical disadvantage in many or even most situation!"
This sort of behavior splits your soul into little pieces---you have the "honest piece" that you use with X, Y and Z and the "dishonest piece" that you use with A, B and C.
Calling it a "tactical advantage" to be two-faced---it likely is, but it's an open question whether this creates any sort of advantage for a tribe/species. But, on the other hand, in a city with a degree of anonymity, why not?
@ The Problem
Dec 6, 2018 at 4:04pm
The only thing that splits your soul is murder. Don't you read Harry Potter? And, after a while, it's fine.
Alternatively, you can just not TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH. You know, the classic unanswerable question: "Does this make my ass look fat?" You reply: "OMG, it's Donald Trump!" and then you run away.
Do you tell your boss that she looks like a five pigs in a tent? Do you tell the police officer who stopped you that, yes, you knew you were 15 km over the speed limit, but the thing is, you don't actually care? Do you tell your kids that, yes, Billy is my favourite - you've had a runny nose for three years and I wanted a girl?
Have some nuance. It's good for you. It's good for them.
@Honesty is grossly overrated
Dec 6, 2018 at 6:22pm
I don't like everyone that I come across, but I will treat them in a civil manner, and with basic human dignity, as long as they are doing likewise. I would by no means manipulate them into believing that I have some kind of affection for them, when I don't. If that's what you do, then you're a low life piece of crap.
Ffs
Dec 6, 2018 at 10:14pm
I’m assuming that the Op is talking about someone they’re in a relationship with, not just someone offering an opinion. If I’m right, then Op, I couldn’t agree more. Except there are so many narcissistic people out there who could care less about being real; they only want to use you and they’ll tell you whatever they think is going to make that easiest for them.
Anonymous
Dec 6, 2018 at 10:17pm
Who needs a tactical advantage when it comes to friendship or love??
Because
Dec 7, 2018 at 8:49am
It takes so much effort to be honest, and most people are just too lazy.
Anonymous
Dec 7, 2018 at 1:55pm
I'm not surprised Vancouver has an opioid crisis; some people's lack of honesty is as bad as any addict.
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