suck at relationshipsposted December 10th, 2018 at 9:20 PM how do you know if someone is right for you? what if when you're with them you're happy, but as soon as you're not with them, all you do is question, and feel anxious and almost ill with all the things that feel wrong? Show 10 Comments 10 Comments Post a Comment DependsDec 10, 2018 at 9:47pmThat's normal. The beginning of a relationship is always stressful: you don't know how the other person feels about you, whether you're right for each other, etc. Eventually, things will sort themselves out, and you will see more clearly with time.If everything is good but you're just paranoid and worried that things won't work out, just relax. Enjoy the present moment. Even if it doesn't work out, you'd still have a great time. Worrying too much risks putting a strain on your relationship. On the other hand, if things aren't so good (you have nothing in common or fight all the time), then you should wonder if it's not better for you to end it before becoming too attached. that meansDec 10, 2018 at 10:04pmyou're not really happy, move on It's not them. It's you.Dec 10, 2018 at 10:32pmThey're right for you. You're just not right with yourself. Learn to get a grip, and chill. Then you'll be good at relationships. AnonymousDec 10, 2018 at 10:33pmIf things feel wrong, it's probably wrong. I've never started a relationship with things feeling less than right and had it start to feel okay. In fact, my last three relationships (two lasted five months, one ten) felt that way, and I just kept thinking "maybe it's fine, maybe I'll adjust. That didn't feel good but maybe it's me."I mean, in the end it WAS me, but it was my needs not bring met. Listen to your instinct. WhelpDec 11, 2018 at 2:50amSometimes I feel insecure in a relationship. This happens when I'm not getting the affirmation that I'm accustomed to. Sometimes it's because they're not very interested in me, sometimes it's because they're not an affectionate person.Generally this type of situation does not improve. Talk it over, see how it goes. You might need to find ways of finding peace or recognize the parts of the relationship that make it work for you. They might (probably won't) be able to help you feel better. Then if it's still an issue, get out!Whatever you do, do NOT procreate or get married with the expectation that things will improve. They won't and you'll be more stuck. RealityDec 11, 2018 at 7:58amThere are no guarantees or fairytales in life or romance. Enjoy each day with them !! Take things as they come. Do not think any further ahead. If you truly enjoy spending time with them, things will fall in place. Anything else is a waste of time. Red flagDec 11, 2018 at 9:17amHaving a sense that things aren’t quite right is your gut instinct trying to tell you something. In my experience it’s always been right, and when I’ve ignored it I’ve ended up seriously regretting it later. Gut thinkersDec 11, 2018 at 12:35pmFamously, George Bush (the younger), Donald Trump, Rush Limbaugh...Lots of people are like that, thus why Trump is president. Not exactly exalted company, more like "don't be that guy".Arguably, today's neurotic society is the result of obsession with gut thinking and the urge to feel safe.In a world that chenges ever faster, any safety or comfort zones are very temporary, if not altogether illusory.I'm cerebral to a fault. People who function mostly on emotional response (the majority) come off as adolescent. Does anyone ever leave high school anymore?I've come to the conclusion that I'm the problem. So, there's that. @gut thinkersDec 11, 2018 at 5:32pmWrong! Paying attention to your gut instincts isn’t at all the same thing as being emotional. It’s simply listening to a very important instinct that all animals have, including humans. It’s there to guide us away from situations that may be harmful to us. Furthermore, please don’t disparage emotions either, because as humans we have those for a reason also. Instinct and emotions are the only things that truly separate us from machines. Gut thinkersDec 11, 2018 at 9:25pm@gutthinkersDo you always open with something adversarial and likely to antagonize the other person? Really, when was the last time that opening with "wrong!" produced a helpful or harmonious outcome for you?Absurdly tone-deaf response coming from someone who advocates emotional sensitivity.... But considering the votes, I am indeed the one who's wrong here. Thus why I've concluded that I'm the problem. And why this culture is no place for personalities like mine.Same with the US.Leaving soon. LOAD MORE Join the Discussion Your name Comment * your name What's your name?