Who did she get it from?

Just broke up with my gf as I found out I now have herpes because she at the time had a cold sore and apparently the same strain that causes cold sores on the face can manifest down there. I’d always thought herpes is something you get from risky unprotected sex and you are completely safe if you don’t sleep around and demand that your partners get tested. Now I’m really sad. I am a pretty, smart, kind, hard-working man that’s always wanted a monogamous relationship and a family, but who’s going to even want to date me now if I say I’ve contracted herpes? I don’t think anyone will care which strain it is, just where it’s come up. Not looking for sympathy, as I understand I could have been more educated about the issue, but I hope reading a confession like this will help some people to be kinder and not perpetuate the stigma around this annoying skin infection.

16 Comments

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Shit

Dec 15, 2018 at 7:42am

You girlfriend is a fucking bitch. She should have told you she had a cold sore. I would never suck my boyfriend's dick even once it was at the point where it's not contagious anymore (the scabbing stage). How inconsiderate of her. No offense, but if you knew about the cold sore.. it was kind of dumb to let her do that. Not trying to make you feel bad but damn..

Same vote

Dec 15, 2018 at 8:43am

I was 20 years old and had my first sexual experience...very naive and very uneducated about sex, relationships, birth control etc
He was a much older boyfriend, I ended up with herpes, it was brutal and so painful, the doctor just gave me a prescription didn’t even tell me what it was!? I’ve only had a few breakouts since and I’m in my 40s and I’m still ashamed about it, It’s like he never goes away
But I am married, with kids and my husband has never had a break out, I have had a couple breakouts since being married and I just tell him about it, he has never judged me

24 2Rating: +22

Me too

Dec 15, 2018 at 8:59am

I’m female and this happened to me 10 years ago.

It’ll be ok. You’re not alone, it’s way more common than you think and highly manageable. Read up on L-Lysine.

Obv, I don’t have all the facts... but was it necessary to break up with the gf ? 1) you’re potentially doing what you dread is going to happen to you by rejecting her bc of a ‘ skin infection’ 2) she’s a compatible partner

22 5Rating: +17

Hair piece

Dec 15, 2018 at 9:06am

That’s awful, herpes is incredibly stigmatized. There is so much shame inducing going around for something that like 50% of the population has in one form or another. Because of that people lie to themselves or others, there isn’t proper testing for it, it isn’t included in a standard Sti screening. At one point I thought I had it but in the end it turned out to be a staph infection and it took me a year of pushing for a dermatologist apt to find out. While I thought I had it I went through a range of emotions and feeling depressed. I did tons of research and ordered a book. I told two people over that time, when I was dating. The reaction was kindness from them. I married the second person I told and they didn’t reject me while it took months to get evidence that it was something else (all the herpes tests were negative but a doctor misdiagnosed and left me panicked). When you date, go on a couple dates before you disclose so that they get a chance to know you first. Avoid intimacy initially so that you don’t have to tell right away. If you get on herpes meds right away it will lower your viral load a lot. Years down the road you may be asymptomatic and I’ve even read about some people who never passed it on in a long term relationship. Best of luck to you, you’re not alone.

17 1Rating: +16

Get over it

Dec 15, 2018 at 9:28am

Between 50%-80% have the type of herpes you are talking about. Your life is not ruined and you are going to be okay. If you wanted to date someone that has never had a cold sore, you are going to have to look pretty hard. btw, you can only get a cold sore during an outbreak, so you may not have it. Just avoid kissing anyone with a cold sore and you are good to go.

14 3Rating: +11

Haha

Dec 15, 2018 at 9:35am

Copying and pasting old confessions, is this what this platform has come to?

12 2Rating: +10

Oh get over yourself

Dec 15, 2018 at 10:06am

Yes, she should have told you, but most people have it anyway.

4 4Rating: 0

Sigh

Dec 15, 2018 at 11:57am

Try doing your research, or at the very least speak with your doctor. You clearly have zero understanding of herpes.

11 1Rating: +10

Original-original poster

Dec 15, 2018 at 1:56pm

Not sure what the point of reposting my confessions from many months ago as a guy was, but to each their own. I wrote that when I was in a really dark place and have since learned that hsv-1 is incredibly common and I can’t give it to someone who already has it (anywhere from 70-90% of the population). I guess I was in the lucky tiny minority before.

Seeing this was a great reminder than life goes on. Again, not sure what your point was but I hope you’re doing well, whoever you are.

16 1Rating: +15

If you call yourself

Dec 15, 2018 at 3:52pm

A “pretty” man you’re not going to get a woman.

5 6Rating: -1

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