I'll finally confess

I blew it ! If I had that morning back I would not be a coward, hurtful and self-centred piece of shit. I never thought of how much courage it must of took for you to start that conversation and how hurt and angry you must have been when I cut you off and denied you. I swear to God when I finally figured it out I balled my eyes out. I know exactly how awful it feels to step up and that person so easily denies your feelings. I'm an empath so for me to miss what I did was so wrong and really showed where my head was at. I was wrong, my God the regret I feel is killing me slowly but surely. Today is my birthday the one person I wish I could enjoy this day with, is with someone else. Someone so wrong and disgusting I cry knowing that it was likely my actions over the last 2 yrs that have pushed you to this. Sweetheart I know you love me, deny that all you want, but I'll still be alone and sad today. You'll be angry and with the one person you should be the farthest away from. I am so sorry you were so strong especially after the loss you had just suffered. I was such a coward. Scared of getting hurt again. Funny though the pain I feel now is a small piece by comparison to what I went through just before I met you.

5 Comments

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Anonymous

Jan 22, 2019 at 1:01am

You sound like a child that only cares about having a toy only when it's being taken away.

15 3Rating: +12

Anonymous

Jan 22, 2019 at 8:37am

"I'm an empath" there u go with that bs again

12 6Rating: +6

Lol, right

Jan 23, 2019 at 6:27am

If you're balling your eyes out, you must be having a pretty terrific time. Unless you meant bawling.

5 4Rating: +1

Hey imposter

Jan 23, 2019 at 9:45am

You got my birthday wrong. Good try though.

3 5Rating: -2

@all of you

Jan 24, 2019 at 11:21am

This is no tv show like Melrose Place. It's real, I am living in hell. The day I fall in love with her, cupid is drunk as fuck and high on cocaine, so he forgets his glasses for good measure. End result I get hit in the ass with the wrong arrow. There is no way I should love this girl like I do. Mostly because she'd probably say Melrose what?? Not in her time reference. I'm not just chasing a chance to get some young pussy here, that came already and I declined. Why? because she has had obvious problems also with the gap between us, but I'm pretty sure the same drunk and high asshole hit her too. So I felt that because of how vocal she can get about not being interested when others from her peer group are near and the fact that we were both high and well nvrmnd, I love her so much I did not want to have her feel any regrets or even possibly be teased should it have gotten out. Just about the hardest thing I have had to not want to have, while wanting that very amazing delicious, incredibly beautiful and super fun treat, that sat in front of me saying it's Ok take a bite. I have been around awhile and I have never been this attracted to and over whelmed by loving feelings for anyone like her. Physically I'm older, but were both addicts and I have been using a little longer than her. Most 24 yr old would give me a fucking headache. This one gives me tears, hope and faith that there are real women out there who will commit pulling their weight while holding a faithful love. We use to talk all night long we were close friends. She made the first move almost 2yrs ago "I blew it" I had just been in a and half yr relationship with a narcopath. I left town on the run 1or 2 days in the new city I meet? yupp her. I was scared of getting hurt like that again and wasn't quite even ready yet I was still thinking why did the last one hurt me like that. I handled it wrong . See complicated is a word you'd use for say a Trump/ Kim Jong-un summit. This has to have a much more potent adjective personally one escapes atm or doesn't exist. I'm not sure.

4 3Rating: +1

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