Everyone is toxic

This has to be the most overused word right now. Suddenly we’re all being encouraged to “eliminate” anyone in our life that doesn’t fit perfectly. Countless people have told me that they’ve eliminated former good friends and also close family members like parents and siblings. They’re all claiming that the people they eliminated were toxic. Imho, the only time that you can be truly justified in completely cutting off all contact with family members is when they are actually abusing you in a real sense. Not just that you don’t like them, they’re not a perfect parent, they didn’t provide you a perfect childhood, your sibling criticizes you, blah, blah, blah. I hear people telling me their justification for removing people from their lives, and so far I’ve yet to have any of these people talk about serious abuse. Those same people also never seem to comprehend their own role in that relationship. It’s always the other person. I foresee a bleak future for many people who burn the bridges that keep their families and close friends in their lives, because its often those very people that will be there for you when you really need it. I also don’t know why people can’t just distance themselves a bit if someone isn’t enhancing your life or stresses you out. Why do people think that it’s got to be all or nothing? Personally I think it has a lot to do with the snowflake concept. The younger generations have been indoctrinated with this bizarre idea that they have to have perfectly stress-free relationships and if they don’t, then the other person is toxic. After all, they’re all so incredibly special that they deserve nothing but perfection in all things, right? All I have to say in conclusion is good luck with that.

11 Comments

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Anonymous

Feb 17, 2019 at 8:16am

I'm a baby boomer with a pair of siblings, one of whom is a former drug dealer turned mentally insane homeless, the other being a born liar who can't be trusted to go to the store unless strangers are watching.

Both were lousy to me when I was growing up. Fuck them both. Best decision I ever made was to cut off ties with them.

22 5Rating: +17

Anonymous

Feb 17, 2019 at 9:13am

u got it all wrong. it's about setting boundaries.

21 6Rating: +15

Mitch

Feb 17, 2019 at 9:40am

People are hypocrites...."I can't believe they said they support Canada's Oil industry!" as they rush off in their SUV's... lol

9 6Rating: +3

@Mitch

Feb 17, 2019 at 11:39am

Is not driving a suv a perfect way to do that. I was actually more confused by the coralation to this topic.

5 2Rating: +3

Connections

Feb 17, 2019 at 12:17pm

Speaking to maintaining relationships with folks that either don't enhance, or add stress to, one's life, I think it really depends on those involved whether or not just simply distancing is a good way to address this. For me, it has much to do with mutuality, not an 'ideal fit'. If I know for certain that the other person has no interest in engaging with me in a meaningful way also, then maintaining any kind of relationship, would just be wasteful and nonviable. Moreover, if their only intention was to add stress to my life without any consideration, then I would definitely characterize that relationship as abusive and toxic; and, it wouldn't make sense to keep it.

5 1Rating: +4

Oh

Feb 17, 2019 at 12:41pm

You must be toxic. Those are the only people who complain when they get cut off. Entitlement. The rest of us are aware of when we do harm and have enough respect to remove ourselves from the lives of those we are hurting.

5 6Rating: -1

Uhh

Feb 17, 2019 at 3:39pm

People are allowed to cut others out of their lives for whatever reason they see fit.

4 4Rating: 0

So i guess

Feb 17, 2019 at 5:26pm

you have been recently ditched and labelled toxic.

3 3Rating: 0

@anonymous

Feb 18, 2019 at 3:09am

No, I don’t have it all wrong. Setting boundaries doesn’t have to entail completely eliminating everyone from your life that doesn’t do exactly what you want. Obviously some people are definitely bad; drug addiction, criminal behaviour, physical and/or serious mental abuse, etc, are all valid reasons to let someone go. I’m talking about the vast number of people who are jumping on the “toxic” bandwagon and proudly proclaiming that they’ve eliminated all of the people in their lives that they consider to be toxic. In every single case that I’ve been personally witness to (many), not one of those people that were eliminated had actually done anything more than be unpleasant or somehow didn’t live up to the person’s ideals about the relationship. Not one of those people even considered that it might be their own behaviour that might have also had an effect on the other person that they’ve deemed the toxic one. The reasons given for eliminating someone were pretty much all fairly minor and often quite petty. Sure they could be annoying, but it shouldn’t be cause for removing your mother or a former best friend from your life. It seems to me that people are becoming less and less tolerant, and I think they’re being very unrealistic and somewhat immature in their expectations of other people.

8 3Rating: +5

I really like this post

Feb 18, 2019 at 9:30am

the "all or nothing" mentality has created a cesspool.

no one is perfect. people fall down. people rise up. being acquaintances through it all is what makes a friend.

10 1Rating: +9

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