In today’s dating environment, you may have found that man are reluctant to approach women since an unwanted advance (ie the woman does not wish to date the man) might be perceived as threatening. Setting aside the question of whether this is a valid fear, it is obvious that in such a climate women will need to approach men they would wish to date. However, I’ve realised that women have no idea how to ask a man out. Hinting that they would like the man to ask them out by sending a friend request on Facebook or commenting positively on an Instagram post is usually seen by men as just a friend request or a positive comment and not loaded with hidden wishes for romantic engagement. You have to be more direct If not already engaged in conversation, start with a greeting (“hi” or “hello” will suffice). Follow this up with “I was wondering if you would like to go for” and then suggest an activity which would allow the both of you to spend a while engaged in quiet, one-on-one conversation. Often, this could be “a coffee” (this implies any beverage that can be purchased at the average cafe), “lunch”, “dinner”, “a walk”. Then finish with “with me”. Given that they’ve probably heard this exactly zero times from a woman in their life, they might be surprised and feel the need to confirm that you are asking them out. Just say “yes”. That’s it. The rest should follow naturally. Either they will accept and an exchange of contact information will occur followed by picking a date and time. Or they may graciously decline. Usually, they will feel the need to cite a reason such as an existing romantic partner or preference for a different gender. This is done because they realise that a flat refusal can be damaging to one’s ego. It is very rare that they might not be gracious in their refusal but they will NOTthreaten violence (either by themselves, a male colleague, or bar security staff), insult your appearance, or feel the need to share negative preconceptions with you. Thank you for reading and looking forward to a happier, more open, more egalitarian dating climate.