Marriage

posted February 14th, 2019 at 2:11 PM

My husband and I were so in love in the beginning. It was the quintessential fairy tale. So I thought, the first time he hit me it was not exceptional hard so that I figured he was trying to hurt me. I was more broken over the betrayal of it and the trust lost. As the beatings got progressively worst I was more destroyed over the loss and continued stripping of trust. I thought why spend so much time building it just to destroy the entire tower. Will I build another, can I build another. Turns out his family never really liked me, mostly they were playacting Edgar Allen Poe like factiously smiling the whole time enjoying immensely the total loss of self in another human being to the most incredible sickly witnessed event. I tried to find understanding and sympathy for them, I could not I saw this as evil a chosen, so how can you forgive an entity for being what it is. I saw it like trying to forgive the sun for being bright. Ridiculous right I believed so, still do although I still reflect on this to find possible understanding past my current impasse around them. I confess perfection is never going to be me, but I will always try and take appositive from every situation from now on.

6 Comments

Oh my dear dearest dear one...

Feb 14, 2019 at 6:29pm

The sun is an object. It doesn't have free will. It has no choice but to shine. So there is nothing to forgive there. It is what it is. However we do have a choice between carrying out acts of good or evil. We also have the choice to forgive. We make our choices based on who we desire to be, and not based on what someone else may or may not desire of us. I'll forgive for my own sake, but I'll also never forget for my own sake either. If there was nothing for you to forgive, then there was nothing you needed to protect yourself from. You're not required to forgive him, even though his actions do require forgiveness. If you do forgive him, it'll be when you feel good and ready.

Other worlds

Feb 14, 2019 at 9:36pm

It looks like , this was a cultural or arranged marriage!!

I guess your...

Feb 15, 2019 at 8:00am

... personality detector must have been broken. You know that women can detect "toxic masculinity", right, and that the reason ugly males like myself don't get laid is our personalities, it has nothing to do with bone structure, being fat, being skinny, the clothes we wear, etc. It's all about that je ne sais quoi.

Good think you got your personality detector working now!

I had a friends years back who told me about how the dude she was seeing was physically abusing her---shoving her, then just headtripping her by saying 'I didn't do that, you're crazy.' But he was sooo hot, and both of his parents were sooo wealthy. It confused her personality detector, I guess!

Wait

Feb 15, 2019 at 2:35pm

Did I read that right? You see now that your partner is abusive but you're choosing to look on the bright side? See the positive? I hope you get the hell out of there. Tell him what he's doing is wrong or just move out when he's not there. What's so great about this guy that your happiness is worth sacrificing? You can build your own tower, it takes courage and a bit of work. A lot of courage.

Awe shucks

Feb 15, 2019 at 5:01pm

You got me but its a coded message, the person it was for I'm sure has read it understood and had a nice day. U saw it read and were like this reeks of toxic male. Not every male is an abusive asshole loss. Those are all about you and your choice in males , just like I blame me for believing socicopath narcissistic women are my way of penance for a life of ignorance. No its my way of assuring I only have to comit to pain and abuse.

@oh my dearest

Feb 15, 2019 at 5:51pm

My point u make it again stating my metaphor is oncorrect. Yes it is hence the point of the ridiculous after it . wow I feel bad for you poor dumb troll.