Mean looking

I look really mean and angry by default. Sometimes I am, but usually I'm not. I feel like I'm judged immediately by my appearance and people think I will be a jerk before I've even said a word. Does anyone else deal with this phobia? I know a lot of this is in my head but coping strategies would be appreciated. I do talk to a therapist about this stuff. It really messes with my mental health and I tend not to approach anyone anymore.

19 Comments

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Maybe

Feb 12, 2019 at 12:59pm

People think you’re shy and reserved? You can always try to smile and say hello. First you’ve got to take deep breaths, relax your mind and loosen up.

16 2Rating: +14

Seeing as

Feb 12, 2019 at 1:20pm

90% of all communication is non verbal ie body language and facial signals...you are the one with the problem,not everyone else.

Try smiling...

The Mask

Feb 12, 2019 at 1:23pm

Cultivate a neutral-to-slightly-amused look.
You'll have to read up on body language and facial expressions. Once you choose a demeanor, posture and set of mannerisms, practice all that. It takes six months to a year for a new habitual you. Ask for feedback if you have a friend you trust (a big "if" these days).
It's like a set of clothes you wear in public. Very much worth the effort.

My own mind is quite bleak and unforgiving. Can't let that show on my face.
Few people like the truth and fewer welcome it.

14 4Rating: +10

modo

Feb 12, 2019 at 1:41pm

I have similar experiences with I'd call my resting bitch face. The public at large only see the cover, if I can relate this to a book. A person who may look mean/angry may have underlying health issues be it physical or emotion. An example is degenerative cervical spine (neck) issues that cause pain, muscle contractions, etc. or other. A health care check may answer some questions.

14 0Rating: +14

It is also

Feb 12, 2019 at 1:48pm

Known as ‘RBF’. Resting Bitch Face.

Best bet is to just learn how to smile and keep it plastered on your face all the time.

9 7Rating: +2

female version

Feb 12, 2019 at 2:16pm

its called RBF

5 5Rating: 0

Hi OP

Feb 12, 2019 at 2:32pm

Yes I dealt with this for many years. The conclusion i came to in the end, and what I have been practicing now for a long time, is not giving a toss. My natural expression - face relaxed and walking down the street or sitting reading - is one of grumpiness, apparently. Which makes me laugh inside as i’m actually quite optimistic and very calm. The ‘grumpy’ quiet exterior does not reflect my inner mood at all. But I can’t be expected to walk around with a forced smile. I must be myself. So, I accept that on the outside i might often look miserable or sullen, even when inside i’m happy and content.

I am what I am, and I’m certainly not going to go through life worrying about what others must be thinking. Once someone starts talking to me, it becomes very clear I am kind, happy and generous. I’m big hearted. Just knowing that is all I need. I’ve come to accept and even enjoy my Pseudo-grumpy face.

22 4Rating: +18

A genuine smile

Feb 12, 2019 at 3:06pm

tends to make anyone look more friendly. If you have a mellow vibe with kind eyes people notice that. Or maybe a silly t shirt.

9 4Rating: +5

I do

Feb 12, 2019 at 3:06pm

I have the exact problem but I usually am stressed out and people notice. They automatically look at me as if to say calm down big guy. My emotions and crazy mind always get the best of me and it shows. It's not a good feeling to always be anxious and worried. I try to overcome it but it sure is powerful. I can't even fake it until I make it.

11 2Rating: +9

I hope your therapist....

Feb 12, 2019 at 3:29pm

Takes the time to dispelled your anxiety. I, as do most people, actually do judge people. But I stay away from malicious judgment and keep it simple.....like 'tall guy' or 'blond chick'. We all do it, but few people will think on first appearance that you're chronically angry unless you are and cannot hide it.

10 3Rating: +7

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