In my world cheaters need to be ghosted

I knew a fabulous couple. Married over 20 yrs. Fun, fun, fun. She decided after 20 yrs that he was no longer desireable physically. So, she had an affair, and when the couple went on holiday she dropped it on my pal at dinner that she was leaving.....THAT DAY. No discussion, no counselling, no separation, just a brick between the eyes. He was devastated. She moved in with her old boyfriend who was trying to get out of his relationship. Instant changes. I want nothing to do with her. Or the new guy. He was fucking my friends wife while she was still married. Nice. Jerk. He broke the guy code. She broke her wedding vows. I lost a fun couple. Fast forward a year. My pal is remarrying a great gal. He is super happy. The ex wife is still feeling the fallout of her actions. She tries to justify it many ways but the root issue is that she did a really hurtful, self absorbed action and hey....you make your bed, you sleep in it. She has lost friends. Me included. Guys have done this to women for years but two wrongs don’t make a right. It was wrong. I can’t trust her. I hope she will be as happy as her ex husband is going to be. He on the other hand is actually quite lucky. He has class. I have no poblem with divorce. If it is not working then get out. But...go to counselling, talk it out a lot, and try. Like really, try. If you have given it a good shot, made your spouse aware, and it is not working then separate. No problem. But dropping it like an anvil onto the head sucks. You are a ghost to me.

19 Comments

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affairs are gross

Feb 20, 2019 at 6:49pm

divorce is easier than it's ever been.

the people I know, men and woman, who've had affairs are scum to me. ghosting is too good for them.

TCG

Feb 20, 2019 at 7:00pm

Relationships are complicated. Good people do shitty things, make shitty choices, hurt people they love and themselves. Just sayin.

I'm not surprised

Feb 20, 2019 at 8:20pm

That the up and downvotes are currently equal.
I guess if it was a woman telling the story of a cheating guy, it'd be mostly thumbs up. Yes?

How do you know?

Feb 20, 2019 at 8:59pm

What you know is his side of the story. There’s always another side. Before you judge her so harshly, maybe you should take the time to find out hers?

What did your pal expect?

Feb 20, 2019 at 9:41pm

The guy code? Lol. Give me a break. Your friend should have known her heart was with her ex before he convinced her to marry him. 20 years of her happiness sacrificed to be his trophy wife and give him everything he wanted in life at the expense of all that she ever really wanted must have been enough for her. Your pal has nothing to cry about. He set himself up for that when he married her.

She

Feb 20, 2019 at 10:42pm

Probably doesn’t give two sh*ts what you think ... if it’s any consolation.

Karma

Feb 21, 2019 at 10:17am

Sorry for the hurt your friend went through. But thank you for the happy ending. He deserves better, sounds like he found it. She found what she deserves. Lovely.

@tcg

Feb 21, 2019 at 11:51am

Stop with the blame culture. Some people are evil. Learn to accept that. It can happen to you people. Need to deal with it.

Woman always the villains...

Feb 21, 2019 at 2:03pm

Same old boring story of the woman being the bad one.
It's always the Nasty Woman at fault.
Whether she is the cheater, the other woman, or the frigid wife.
Coe on Men, let's blame the women. They'll forgive us in the end. They always do.

Ghosting

Feb 21, 2019 at 2:33pm

You keep using that word but I don't think you know what it means.

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