What would you recommend?

My dad died a few years back, I am the eldest sibling making me "next of kin." meaning I have legally the right to be the first to assume his posessions. He told me years ago that he wanted to say sorry for not being a present father in my life but that he had an issue in life that affected him and he couldnt cope and didnt lead the healthiest lifestyle as a result of choices and trauma. I find this diary or workbook from church he did. In it read that he was sexually abused as a 5 year old boy by a man (name). I was shocked. I called my grandmother (his mom). She told me this man was a family best friend, a reverend , a kids hockey coach.. He moved away. My father reported the crime decades later .. As there is no statue of limitations for child sex crimes in Canada there is a file open.. My grandmother reported him also. So i found this man online it wanst hard he write ob a blogg signed it i looked it up found his address etc. 60 years diamond jubilee status .. Wow. HE IS STILL ALIVE. HOW the hell do I legally put it out there to other people / survivors that they are not the only ones! That they could corroborate and seek justice! I feel so bound by law .. Defamation laws etc. I even called a law office in Vancouver who is defendants of sex offenders and they say keep at it someone will report him. What do i do? Should i not care? Is it ok for bom to live out his life in this lavish home i see on google maps just blocks from kids schools? I am at my witts end. Thanks everyone !!

10 Comments

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There’s only 1 option: REPORT HIM

Feb 11, 2019 at 6:31am

You have the diary as evidence.

Silence = compliance

Do it for your deceased Father.

19 4Rating: +15

Not your problem

Feb 11, 2019 at 7:00am

He was already reported and unless you find some other people that were kids on your dad's hockey team that want to come forward about being sexually abused by this coach then there isn't much you can do. If any of them wanted to drudge up their past with this guy, they would have likely have done so by now.

6 13Rating: -7

Not the main point

Feb 11, 2019 at 9:19am

But if your dads estate is in Canada or the UK you have no more right to his possessions than any other sibling.

11 7Rating: +4

TAKE YOUR DAD'S WRITTEN WORDS TO THE POLICE

Feb 11, 2019 at 9:47am

There are probably other victims of this creep. The authorities will take this seriously & open an investigation.

12 3Rating: +9

JACKKNIFE

Feb 11, 2019 at 12:45pm

I'm a 55 y.o male, molested....i will call it like it was, Rape when i was 5, 50 years later and i still feel sick to my stomach. Long hours in the shower, scrubbing his filth off me. The harm he did to my life will never end. He was a church elder, well respected in the community. He is dead now and if i knew where he is buried, i would desecrate his grave.........writing this is making me angry and wanting to puke 50 years on.

17 6Rating: +11

Anonymous

Feb 11, 2019 at 2:14pm

Take a drink of brandy, phone the creep and from a prepared script tell him exactly what you know about him. He will love that.

7 5Rating: +2

As stated

Feb 11, 2019 at 3:46pm

Earlier take info to the cops. In the land of justice-lite it is likely they will do jack all...but at least u tried.

As far as the estate goes it does not work that way. Without a real will the BC courts will have to sort it out. If there is multiple siblings u would ALL get an equal share under BC law. Just google it.

6 6Rating: 0

author

Feb 12, 2019 at 1:40pm

regarding rights to dads posessions. all i wanted was that diary that explained why he wasnt a good dad. i wanted an answer, i got it, and more. I let go of the anger and resentment i had for him knowing what had happened. the other reason i was the only one who went to his belongings was because my other half sister died of a drug overdose in 2015, she was 21. she too was sexually abused told me she couldnt cope and didnt want to live. god bless her. my other two half sisters were re united with my father on my half sisters funeral, they said they didnt connect to him and wanted nothing to do with him. asides that he did overdose in that very room where he rented 2 weeks prior to christmas, and just months after our sister overdosed. thank you for the clarification. it means nothing, money, possessions mean nothing. the point here is that life does.

5 6Rating: -1

You can report!

Feb 12, 2019 at 5:50pm

Third party reporting options are out there, you can report this. Please contact WAVAW or BC Male Survivors.

4 3Rating: +1

Author

Feb 15, 2019 at 11:31am

To : You Can Report.
Thank you for your time and caring! Big huggs.
I contacted the crusade against clergy abuse. About ten more law firms in ontario. Male survivors of sexual abuse groups also. Thank you for the ideas. It gets my neves so rattled after these phone calls that i have to take a shower after to wash away the stress sweat! I stand with no shame. I hope we catch this sick fucker i never lose hope. I will not give up.

5 5Rating: 0

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