Having never in my life had an issue with empathy and in fact the opposite as I am ever looking for the good in everyone these days, I am quite shocked that some people have to practice being empathetic. I have to hold myself back. Where is the natural empathy in you people and do you presume it makes you have "superior" type of empathy or more professional type if you learn "how to"


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Apr 19, 2019 at 12:48pm

I'm highly empathetic and it's a double edged sword with pros and cons. I find it so odd how it's difficult for people but then I think about the state of humanity. It's saddening and disheartening to see how their are so few truly selfless, kind people.

Interestingly, a significant percentage of CEOs and other highly successful people have been found to fit the criteria for psychopathy according to some studies. It's frightening...

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First-world problems

Apr 19, 2019 at 1:13pm

Depends on your life experience.
When I was little, I wouldn't even kill roaches. Too kind and caring, really. But then (fortunately) life happened and lots of brutal stuff occurred. Also, many others my age treated me like sh*t, and I got harassed and bullied.
And that was before I got to North America. Which was worse in that respect (because violence) for a pubescent kid. I learned a lot about "human nature".
Not so kind now. My empathy is very situation-dependent. And extremely limited, mostly to those I treasure.
I like it that way. The idea of having empathy for 8 billion people is absurd. We haven't met.

If you watch The Expanse series, Amos is my favorite character. Maybe of all time. I've read the books, too.
Same for my housemate. We share similar childhood experiences. So, yeah, just a heads-up. There are people like us out there. And we look just like everybody else.

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The Born Expert

Apr 19, 2019 at 4:25pm

Beethoven, and Mozart were also child prodigies, especially when it came to their music. But I'm sure that even they had to put their music into practice, otherwise we never would have heard of them today. Better to be a has been, than a never was, am I right?
I'm glad it doesn't take you any effort putting your empathy into practice being the prodigy that you are. But for most people, those that have received little, have little to give. Those that have received much, have much to give. Then of course, some people are born straight up self absorbed assholes with no sense of humility. They are asshole prodigies, that can't help being assholes.

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Nature boy

Apr 20, 2019 at 2:46am

Are you sure you're talking about empathy? Empathy is being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes and understand how they must feel. It's not looking for the good in everyone. And to say you've never had an issue with empathy seems like a stretch. You've never not been able to understand how another person feels? Not likely, even for the best of us. Personally, the more shit I go through, the more empathy I have for people. While I agree that some people have it in their nature and some don't, I also think it is something you have to learn and put to practice. For example, can you have empathy for someone you're arguing with? Maybe you'll see that they're right and you're wrong, or at least understand why they think they're right when they're not. I can remember my parents teaching me to always try seeing things from the other persons point of view and try to understand how they feel. I took it to heart and always try to do that. Did it help that I was bullied as a kid? I think so.
I'm glad you're a good natured person though. Seeing the good in everyone is harder for me than empathy. I have empathy for what a person must have gone through in life to become the asshole they are now, but I don't necessarily see the good in them.

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Natural empathy

Apr 20, 2019 at 2:58am

is a basic characteristic of being human. I'm with OP on this one.
Whenever I meet people who are "empathy challenged", I make a point of keeping them at arm's length. They give me the creeps.

At the extreme end, anybody I've met who's had a total lack of empathy has looked pretty sociopathic to me, as if they are just coldblooded reptiles disguised as humans. Most of them are clever enough to know they have to fake feeling empathy in order to blend in and appear normal. Wolf in sheep's clothing kind of thing.
Like we need more predatory assholes in this world...

That's because

Apr 20, 2019 at 5:23am

narcissism is on the rise; the selfie culture and obsession with self-promotion on social media are symptoms.

The "Me" generation 2.0

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Apr 20, 2019 at 8:09am

It’s not a contest. There is no “right” and “wrong” kind of empathy. It’s about intent. Anyone trying to develop their emphatic abilities has good intentions, which may lead to right actions. The outcome is the same.

10 7Rating: +3

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