I can’t take it anymore

If I have to read one more post from those guys that constantly talk about how hard men have it because their ex “took everything they had”, I’m going to lose it. Legally there’s something called family property. It applies EQUALLY to both parties in a relationship. That includes spousal support if the court determines that one spouse was financially dependent on the other for some reason. That support is virtually never for an extended period of time unless the spouse granted it is totally incapable of earning their own money. Often it’s granted to the spouse who is largely responsible for the day to day care of small children, and who was at stay at home parent. Even then it’s not a forever situation. As for child support, you’re not “giving” that money to your ex, you’re supporting your children. Just like children are supposed to benefit from their parents’ ability to enjoy a certain lifestyle, the courts expect that both parties will continue to ensure that the children can continue to enjoy the same lifestyle as much as possible. The people who complain that they have to pay so much to their ex often also seem to forget that it’s their children who are the ultimate recipient. Child support isn’t just to buy clothes and toys! It’s so that the children will be able to live in a decent place. So they’ll have the same ability to enjoy activities that they did during the marriage such as extracurricular sports or lessons. So that they don’t have to suffer any more than they already are because their parents broke up. Family property includes things that were purchased during the relationship or earned during the relationship, such as pensions. Those are split between both parties, not just the guy’s. Lots of women have pensions too and they are subject to exactly the same laws. The only reason that more men are paying a larger proportion of support is because on average men still earn significantly more than their female partner. Usually it’s the women who give up the opportunity to earn more when they have children, because they are often the ones doing the majority of child care and / or family support such as managing the household. The courts recognize that just because someone isn’t being paid with a paycheque doesn’t mean they’re not contributing in a big way to the family income. Having one person taking care of household related matters is often the only reason the other person is able to achieve what they do in a career, and therefore why they have higher earnings. The courts don’t look at the gender of the person as much as they look at the income potential that person has when they determine things like child or spousal support. Btw, as a female in the legal profession who has also been married and divorced, I can speak from experience because I left the marriage with much less property than my former spouse. We had joint custody of our children and both of us paid child support to whichever of us was the primary childcare provider at the time. My financial circumstances changed for the worse substantially following the divorce, whereas his improved shortly thereafter. He got the house, because our children lived primarily with him for the first couple of years and we all decided that it was better for the kids to stay in their own home and go to their same schools. So PLEASE stfu about how your evil ex “took” everything. It was half theirs and they’re entitled to it!


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Apr 15, 2019 at 1:30pm


Thank u

Apr 15, 2019 at 5:06pm

Best confession ever!


Apr 15, 2019 at 5:07pm

very well said. thank you.

Reality check bounced

Apr 15, 2019 at 5:31pm

Don't worry, the lineup to lose half your shit is almost empty because of that exact post.

The lineup to live a fruitful and happy life is giving out rain checks.


Apr 15, 2019 at 5:36pm

What if the guy paid 100% of the downpayment and all the mortgage payments? 50/50 doesn't seem so fair then a mere few years down the road....

Sorry, do more homework

Apr 15, 2019 at 8:06pm

Actually it's often not fair. Often the man is left not only paying child support, but also alimony parents so the ex can keep her "lifestyle she is accustomed to" even though the successful man was the one who put in all the hard work building a business or whatever else, this is a common case.

The worst is when the guy has to pay all this when the reason the marriage ended was the wife's infidelity. Although the absolute worst is cases where the man is paying child support for a child that is not even biologically his, due to a cheating wife
This stuff happens.


Apr 15, 2019 at 9:28pm

Let's see your sources.

You are

Apr 15, 2019 at 10:21pm

Equating divorce with kids, to a common law situation with no kids.
The latter in which she can literally show up penniless and in debt,and after a short time living with a guy- walk away with cash and prizes and have him pay off half her debts.


Apr 16, 2019 at 1:21am

To the guys that keep talking about what the man paid, etc, I just recommend that you look at the Family Relations Act as it pertains to division of family assets. This isn’t the place to try to educate you on it. As for my sources, this is an anonymous forum so obviously I’m not going to reveal where I work or anything else. It’s not hogwash, but the bs that’s been spouted on here ad nauseum certainly is.

Tooooo long

Apr 16, 2019 at 5:53am

To read.

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