I just don't get it

If you regret pushing someone away, wouldn't it make sense to tell them and try to get them back? If you regret saying awful things, wouldn't it make sense to apologize? I don't understand how anyone can feel remorse yet just sit there and hold it in when they have the capability to reverse the damage. I always follow through when I feel regret, and it always works out. Often, it's just misunderstanding and miscommunication. What is the big deal?

8 Comments

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What's to get?

Apr 14, 2019 at 10:25pm

Some people take their pushing away too far. They make themselves new commitments to others which would upset too many lives if they actually did try to reverse the damage, that may, or may not be too late to reverse. It's the proverbial spin of "several new birds in the hand is worth one old bird in the bush".

9 7Rating: +2

The big deal...

Apr 14, 2019 at 10:37pm

.... is that it takes two to make a relationship work. If one person has said they regret things said in a time of hurt and frustration but the other person never acknowledges their part, then that relationship has no chance of working out. I was always the one apologizing whenever I felt I’d been wrong about my behaviour, including the last time we broke up. My ex has never once apologized or even acknowledged that he said or did anything wrong at all, no matter the proof I had of it. So a one-sided relationship is doomed from the get-go.

12 6Rating: +6

No regrets pushing

Apr 14, 2019 at 11:29pm

Just the meeting part!

5 5Rating: 0

fear

Apr 15, 2019 at 2:41am

of rejection

11 3Rating: +8

Oh you know

Apr 15, 2019 at 3:37am

Dignity. Integrity. Honest. Etcetera etcetera

9 3Rating: +6

Know what I do every time I go fishing?

Apr 15, 2019 at 3:48am

I say a Hail Mary.
And you know what happens every time I say a Hail Mary?
I catch a fish.

6 4Rating: +2

@OP

Apr 15, 2019 at 8:07am

i wholeheartedly agree with you. saying sorry and apologizing takes lots of courage and humility, and most people (even myself) have a difficult time admitting they have done wrong to someone. it's all about ego and 'being right'. ego kills relationships :( humility, honesty, integrity, loyalty, truths and chivalry are all virtues we can live by to reduce most of violence, breakups, business quarrels, fights, deaths, and wars

9 5Rating: +4

Sorry but

Apr 15, 2019 at 11:56am

All of these seem like lame excuses.

6 7Rating: -1

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