Let It Go!

It would be nice if people didn't hold grudges. It would be nice if lovers didn't bring up shit you've gone over ad nauseam in a way to deflect the crap they did last week that you called them out on. It would be nice if we could keep our dignity when being scrutinized. What matters to you really at the end of that argument? Being right, or knowing that there is someone who loves you enough to put up with your shit? I'd say the latter. Let it go!

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Stop holding your grudge

Apr 19, 2019 at 2:21pm

"It would be nice if lovers didn't bring up shit you've gone over ad nauseam in a way to deflect the crap they did LAST WEEK that you called them out on."

You've been holding this grudge since last week, so they have to go back and take hold of an older grudge to deflect your grudging you've been doing since last week.

12 2Rating: +10

Where Lovers Meet

Apr 19, 2019 at 2:33pm

If they're right, then they're right, and it's your shit that they've been dealing with since last week. If they're wrong, then they either don't care that you love them, or they don't know that you love them. If they don't care that you love them, then leave. If they don't know that you love them, then get busy showing that you do.

9 3Rating: +6

Truth

Apr 19, 2019 at 5:19pm

I hate grudges! My ex was one of those people who literally made note of absolutely every minor thing I’d ever done to annoy him, and used them to deflect the attention from his own issues if I ever tried to raise my concerns. I’ve since learned that it’s a classic tactic of people with NPD, so that instead of ever having to address their own shortcomings, they focus the conversation onto the other party every time. They only “let things go”, if those things involve their own behaviour.

16 7Rating: +9

Yessss

Apr 19, 2019 at 6:48pm

Vendetta Paid. Time to go.

1 1Rating: 0

OP @Stop holding

Apr 19, 2019 at 9:18pm

Yes last week. It’s because my lover holds a grudge for so long that they won’t talk to me for an entire week! When I try to get in touch they bring up shit from a year year ago. It’s maddening. It’s not my grudge. I can let a lot slide. Believe me. I let too much slide.

4 4Rating: 0

Yes @truth

Apr 20, 2019 at 10:44am

Still it's not an absolute certainty that your dealing with that type of person. People use all kinds of methods to keep themselves safe. So why do you always point out that this person is this or that. I'm sure your the one doing this at nauseam!!!

3 5Rating: -2

@ OP @Stop holding

Apr 20, 2019 at 2:56pm

You choose to put up with it. If you're wrong, then there is nothing further to talk about until you acknowledge it, and change your prideful behavior because what matters more, being right, or knowing that there is someone who loves you enough to put up with your shit? If you're right, and if I was in your position, after a week of the cold shoulder, and no sign of things getting better, I'd walk. But of course that's just me. I'll only put up with so much unnecessary shit.

2 2Rating: 0

@yes @ truth

Apr 20, 2019 at 8:49pm

As if you know any at all about my relationship! Not in the slightest. In fact the only reason we were together for so long is entirely because I DON’T hold grudges.

6 3Rating: +3

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