Love is....

Back in the seventies I was fifteen years old, with fake picture id that got me into the bars in Alberta (18) and me and my girlfriends used to like to hang out there to meet people and listen to the live bands, no cover. We thought we were cool but actually we were pretty innocent and not into one night stands but one night I broke my own rule and went home with someone. I usually knew enough to just go home but something about him was different. He sat down at our table around 11 pm or midnight with a direct gaze at me and he looked short, a bit like a leprechaun with a beard, and he smelled of patch. Those days for me were wild and free, I was rebelling against my parents and society after having been the "good girl" for so long and I went ahead and took a taxi home with him instead of my friend and we had sex. Following that he almost had a fit when he found out my age (I was actually fourteen) but he had me come over a few more times after that calling me at home with my mom and then paying for a taxi or coming to pick me up. For my part I felt such a crush and overwhelming attraction to him I could not think straight so I just did what my hormones wanted me to and we carried on for about a year or two, things got complicated and we lost touch. My confession is that I still miss him and that no one that I met since really gave me anything close to that feeling I got with him and he was close enough to my age to be forgiven that indiscretion, I am kind of glad because it was before anything really terrible happened to me. I hope he has had a really good life. With a last name so distinctive I never forgot it, I looked up his name on social media and never found it so at least he is probably not dead.


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Apr 25, 2019 at 2:50pm

"I was rebelling against my parents and society after having been the "good girl" for so long..."
"I was partying and having sex at fourteen."

You seem to be contradicting yourself. My parents didn't allow me to party or talk to boys until I was at least 18 and had a job. And I was a teenager in the 90s. If partying and hooking up at 14 is what "good girls" do, I wonder what regular girls and promiscuous girls do in your world. You seem to belong right in today's hook-up culture. Please stop feeling sorry for yourself. I don't think you have any idea what being (sexually) oppressed as a female means. Your story is minimizing the experience of those of us who actually lived with oppression.


Apr 25, 2019 at 5:03pm

Good on ya.
Some of us started early. Without even trying.
My first was at age 8, with a 7yo girl, and it was her idea. Apparently, she saw her dad doing the deed (not with mom) a few times, and wanted to experiment. After that, sex was not so big a deal for me, growing up (much like booze). Also, detached from the idea of "love", permanently.
Very fortuitous, because love comes in many forms (even platonic ones). It's sometimes hard to define or even perceive, and is often confusing. Whereas sex is fun biological exercise that sometimes results in offspring - very straightforward.
Makes for a less unbalanced childhood, I think. Not that I'd recommend it to anyone in North America, obviously, where sex (and also, love) is complicated by all manner of righteousness, psychological mythology and cultural taboos (see first comment).
I like how you think.

6 10Rating: -4

Your post made me feel nostalgic

Apr 25, 2019 at 11:49pm

I grew up in nearly the same era, also in Alberta.
At thirteen years old I was 5’10 and didn’t need fake ID and was served alcohol in bars.
I also got a job at thirteen and lied that I was fifteen.
“ Wild and free” was exactly how it was.
I did a lot of crazy things but I lucked out in that I didn’t get pregnant or addicted to drugs.

At thirteen I had the means to earn my own money to buy a concert ticket and take public transit there. Looking at my friends thirteen year olds now, no way in this world would they be doing that.

14 8Rating: +6

How was it?

Apr 26, 2019 at 1:41am

So, you hooked up with a leprechaun, eh?

11 4Rating: +7

Double standards

Apr 26, 2019 at 9:58am

I appreciate that you look back on this early relationship with positive feelings. Was this relationship a good one simply because you are you or is it possible that another 14yo girl could have a similar positive sexual relationship with an older man? What if that girl is your daughter or niece? Why would that make a difference? I'm interested in your opinion.

7 8Rating: -1

The world...

Apr 26, 2019 at 10:33am

... used to be a pretty fun place.

9 7Rating: +2


Apr 26, 2019 at 7:20pm

Partying and having sex at 15 years old doesnt sound like rebelling against being a good girl.

It sounds like quite the opposite of ever being a good girl.

7 6Rating: +1

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