Integrity

Some people just don’t possess it. Maybe we all have different ideas about what that word means. To me it means that you don’t screw people over. You don’t use people to fulfill your own needs at the expense of theirs. You try very hard not to hurt people, and if you realize that you have, you make a sincere apology and you try not to do it again. You are a straight shooter. You’re real and honest. You don’t lead someone on to keep yourself from being lonely, if you realize that they’re in love with you, but you know you don’t feel the same. Obviously not everyone has integrity, and I’ve finally realized that as soon as I get that gut feeling that they’re not to be trusted, I need to get away before I get hurt. Some people are just snakes, and they truly have no conscience whatsoever. Learned at last, but the learning almost killed me.

14 Comments

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Good post

May 26, 2019 at 12:02am

Always trust the gut feeling!

17 8Rating: +9

camel

May 26, 2019 at 3:07am

if I have the face of a camel, eyes like a raccoon and am shaped like a frog, can i be a snake? keep moving forward!

Also..

May 26, 2019 at 10:45am

You don't target people for their weaknesses. You don't help someone trip over their own feet and then kick them when they're down. You don't try to rule over them because you feel that's your right, feeling entitled to slandering and defaming someone just because you think 'they screwed you over'. You treat people with respect at all times, and respect other people's relationships without trying to impose yourself on their relationship because you have somehow decided that you are 'more worthy' than the person they are currently with. You don't threaten people, or turn others against them because you allow everyone to have their own side of the story. Last but not least, you walk away if someone wrongs you, instead of starting a shit storm and standing there, pouting, demanding that they pay you something they don't owe you. You don't expect people to accept disrespect as a form of treatment. We can point the fingers where we want, but at the end of the day, if you're the abuser, people are running from you, not the other way around. I don't let up because of the injustice that has been done to my name because someone couldn't accept the consequences of how they treated me during a very delicate time. And I'm at peace, but wanting to clear my name. And on here? It's a long shot. But I'm taking it.

Clarify...

May 26, 2019 at 10:58am

Does having integrity mean you sacrifice yourself to someone who would destroy you if they could? All because you thought they were something else? You expect too much. Of course we all try to keep our words, but once the road has revealed itself as deadly, you'd be stupid to keep walking it. And that's not called lack of integrity, that's called self-love and...smart.

Not black or white

May 26, 2019 at 11:03am

People aren't just good or evil. People make mistakes too, especially in relationships. People are young, inexperienced, don't know what they want, hurt, damaged, etc. You should definitely look after yourself, and don't expect too much from others. But everyone make mistakes, and they'll hopefully learn.

19 8Rating: +11

@Also @clarify

May 26, 2019 at 9:35pm

I think you assume that this post in some way is aimed at you. It’s not. What you described sounds rough, and I’m sorry that you’re dealing with that, but trust me, I’m not the bad guy in my situation. I’ve been used and abused over a very long period of time, and I’m just fed up with someone that hides a damaged psyche behind a big grin.

21 9Rating: +12

I'm

May 26, 2019 at 10:18pm

I'm perfect in my own imperfections

7 8Rating: -1

@ Also..

May 27, 2019 at 12:25am

" You treat people with respect at all times, and respect other people's relationships without trying to impose yourself on their relationship because you have somehow decided that you are 'more worthy' than the person they are currently with."

So what if they don't respect their own relationship, and go out of for the greener grass making you feel like you're more worthy than who they are currently with?

No, you don't get respect at all times regardless of the way you act. No one just owes you respect, and you're not just entitled to it. You earn respect, and you keep it by being respectful.
You don't go asking after someone else, telling people you're thinking of leaving your current partner, if so and so shows that they like you, especially when you know that they do.
You do something like that because you don't want them liking someone else. When they hear about it from the people you opened your mouth up to, and they show you that they like you, your ego is then satisfied, you no longer need them for it, then you publicly crush and humiliate them just for the sense of empowerment.
If you don't keep it respectful, you're not going to get the respect you want. You're going to get called out on your ego and your narcissism. That's not defaming your character. That is your character. You deserve the shit storm, and you deserve it even more because you wronged them and you keep wronging them by withholding the apology that YOU DO OWE with interest. Be an adult. Be responsible. Be accountable. Pay what you owe them. It's how you earn respect. Stop acting like a weasel here too.

@Also

May 27, 2019 at 3:06am

are you the OP, or responding to the OP? I read it as a response. Actually I read it as a response to ME if I was the OP (I'm not - but I could have written all that about someone at one time).

Op

May 28, 2019 at 9:12am

To the “also” commenter - maybe I wasn’t clear enough....my post is not about you. Obviously you’ve got a beef about someone, and I sympathize. However, I’m completely certain that you are not the person who inspired me to write my post.

8 2Rating: +6

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