My Sexwork And Dating Don't Mix

I'm a female sex-worker in Vancouver. During my time of in this field, I've been single. Partly by choice, and partly because of people's biases/morals and phobias. There are so many people that are whore-phobic, fat-phobic (yes I'm a big girl) and they don't seem to like the fact that I CHOOSE this line of work, and I'm a big chick that get's PAID to do it. They seem to think I'm a cool cat until the "I'm a sex-worker" comes up during conversation. I've been ghosted, told off, told to "get a REAL job" I can't date a sex-worker (because insecurities y'all) The thing is, this is a JOB. I do all my administration, advertising, social media management, communication, scheduling, web design. My job doesn't define me, just like a Dr isn't just a DR. I really wish people would step outside their comfort zones and see me as a human being, someone that is worthy of having a partner. I see myself as being enough. I don't judge people for their occupations, why do you judge me for mine?

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Sex work is work

May 28, 2019 at 2:40pm

Sex workers shouldn’t be shamed with society, have equal safety protections and be able to unionize.

However, if a person decides they wouldn’t want to date a sex worker because they are a monogamous person, that’s their choice. I would say no to a polyamorous situation just as much as I would say no to a person who was a sex worker. It doesn’t matter if money is involved. I would just want a partner to focus on us as a couple, I don’t like having other people involved. Navigating one sexual relationship is already a lot for some people.

You’re fighting an uphill battle, I am sure there are people out there who would be ok with it. But generally a lot of people don’t like the idea of their partner being with other people.

Yes

May 28, 2019 at 2:57pm

judge not lest ye be judged.

Respect

May 28, 2019 at 2:58pm

I've always held "the world's oldest profession" in high regard.
By all accounts, that sh*t requires a lot of fortitude to do for any length of time and not lose yourself (and your self). Not least because of the stigma. And then there's compliance, security, health (mental and otherwise), the way the Canadian government treats self-employment, the client-facing bit you spoke of... It's not a barber shop. Sex work is complicated, and not just because of the sex.
People judge because puritanism is alive and well, and people love to be righteous - moralistic regarding others but amoral about themselves.
Maybe we'll evolve...someday. I'm not hopeful.

Seriously?

May 28, 2019 at 3:00pm

You don't get why people don't want a partner who fucks other people?

I call bullshit.

Desire...

May 28, 2019 at 3:07pm

... is the root of our whole outlook in life. They likely don't want to be with a woman who desires to take advantage of male sexuality for money, nor do they want to be with a woman who doesn't take care of herself. You desire to do something they object to, and you do not do something that they desire.

So, you're not desirable to them, it's not because they're "afraid."

Well

May 28, 2019 at 3:27pm

at least you're getting laid

You want theories?

May 28, 2019 at 3:49pm

1. The radfem argument.

The idea that sex work is work isn't actually universal. Radical feminists believe that it isn't a legitimate work option, because ideal scenarios like yours aren't the norm - the industry is rife with exploitation, human trafficking scenarios, rape, and murder. Furthermore, it is problematic to assert that men have a right to purchase your body (albeit by the hour).

2. Competitiveness

Men are culturally trained to value female monogamy because the nests that we feather should only contain our chicks.

3. Dread of comparison

Speaks for itself

4. Fear of disease

Speaks for itself

5. Fear for you

The profession you are in has inherent risks, not limited to legal liabilities and various kinds of predation. While some people (including myself) think it is hot to date a promiscuous, highly sexual woman, one might feel reluctant to get attached because of the real or perceived precariousness of your situation. It would be like dating someone who is a free climber, and a skydiver, and who is one of those human targets on the rotating disc for professional knife throwers. Can you be counted on to be alive next month?

OP

May 28, 2019 at 3:55pm

OP here:

1) PPL can’t handle or don’t want non-monogamy because it’s bad. Because being monogamous is seen as being good, the virtuous thing to do. When one deviates from the norm, they’re seen as rebellious/not worthy/bad.

2)Taking advance of male sexuality? Lol! What do you think marriage is?

3)The the hate is strong with some of y’all, wooeeee!

4)I get full well why ppl don’t want to date a sexworker. Their moral ideology at work in this one.

5)Yes I plan on being alive next month, god willing.

@You want theories?

May 28, 2019 at 4:02pm

How about whores just aren't their bag?

My reason

May 28, 2019 at 4:04pm

I turned down a chance to date a sex worker. Nice guy and no judgment on my part but our values didnt match up.

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