You must be my Soul Twin. Spooky
Did you make your own t-shirt? or find it trolling and gas lighting in some funky downtown shop.

"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Walt Kelly
You'll always criticize, belittle and delude yourself most effectively, because nobody knows you better than you. That takes "familiarity breeds contempt" to a whole new level. Thus why it's so important to find people who really appreciate you. Even when you're having a bad time or they disagree with you. Sadly, humans are very self-centered, so that creature in your life may only ever be a dog. Heh.
Or...you can become a narcissist, and be God's Perfect Gift To The Universe Forever (TM). This is learned behavior - narcissists are made, not born. Anybody can do it.

Both it was not a fun ride. but somehow a trip I had to take.

I can relate, the ruminating inside your own brain can be truly horrible not to mention incredibly unhealthy.
I say the serenity prayer to myself when this happens or go for a workout or a brisk walk.
Stay healthy and good luck!

thx ... i go into the Serenity Prayer too. For those who feel burned by religion, suggest don't worry about words like 'prayer' or any of the anthropomorphic names us apprentice humans make up to try our best to describe the presently indescribable. But suggest seek & trust the overwhelming positivity of the benevolent universe. Even modern quantum physics is onto it these days with what they are calling the 'string theory of quantum entanglement.' .... when you are having a challenging time suggest listen to good music and by good i don't say those robot freakwency fraud EDM sounds pretending that is music.

"The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent; but if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death — however mutable man may be able to make them — our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and fulfillment." - Stanley Kubrick

@@serenityprayer
It seems that you and I do not live in the same universe.
Mine (and also, Kubrick's) does not include any provisions for positivity, overwhelming or otherwise. Nor for benevolence. And quantum theory says nothing about these things either - that's not what quantum entanglement means. Conflating particle physics with feel-good platitudes and pseudo-scientific religiosity goes far beyond poetic license. It's deliberate misrepresentation. Like Goop, the brand.
And slagging electronica (which includes meditative subgenres like trance, ambient and chillout) in the same breath is just weird.
Hard fail, overall.
Not everyone is an apprentice. Some of us have had a much longer subjective lifetime.
"The very meaninglessness of life forces man to create his own meaning." Kubrick, again.

Best i can see, the meaning of life is a life of meaning (getting past the misuse of the the anthropomorphic double meaning of mean :-) ... Kubrick is a hero of our generation but don't conflate Kubrickianism thinking quantum physics can intend otherwise for; who can presently see the big picture: IMO not a one of us apprentice humans, for we all only presently see in small part and anyone who says they know-it-all and their way is the only way - those are devolutionists trying to sell us something and or control us - usually both. I don't got video on it but the little peaks I've had thru the interdimensional curtain show me that the universe(s) are benevolent .... Walk Good so that when you get your metaphorical wings you will Fly Good.