I'm unprofessional

I'm 29. I am currently exiting (final day tomorrow) a job at a company that had very bad vibes from day 1, and where I didn't like my direct manager (wrong management style for me). When some colleagues asked why I was leaving, I made the mistake of telling the truth, and asking if I should say something. Somehow, upper management got wind that I hadn't been happy. I should have known better. I confess that I'm the work drama queen and I need to learn from this experience and not be so unprofessional next time I'm unhappy. I should not sow the seeds of dissent. I hope you all don't make the same mistake I did. Learn from this. Exit with grace.

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Don't beat yourself up.

Jul 18, 2019 at 5:56pm

I think it's sometimes difficult to know when to be candid and when to glaze over the truth.

Who knows, maybe total honesty was what was needed in this situation in order for your workplace to make a shift for the better in the long run. It's kind of shitty of your co-workers to violate your trust, though.

Best of luck in your new endeavours. I'm sure this will prove to be a good move forward.

36 7Rating: +29

Wellll

Jul 18, 2019 at 7:36pm

Sometimes you have to tell them the truth, I left a job long ago because of my managers and the high stress environment that they got off on. I couldn’t take it anymore and I did try to exit with grace....but the president really wanted me to stay, offered me more money and even said that I didn’t have to work under anyone except him. I had to tell him the truth because he was in Ontario and didn’t see the bullshit I lived everyday. I basically told him how the office was run etc.
He totally respected me and gave me and still gives me excellent references. Sometimes it’s not about the money but about self care and being in a happy work environment.

23 6Rating: +17

Anonymous

Jul 18, 2019 at 10:27pm

I applaud you for being candid. Speaking truth to power takes guts, and is also a sign of leadership potential. There's inherent risk in that, though, and it sometimes bites you in the butt. And if this is a situation where management catching wind of this bruises their ego, then that's their problem.

But maybe don't use them as a reference.

Nazi

Jul 18, 2019 at 11:46pm

Written by a corporate manager

7 23Rating: -16

Yyaaaa, a

Jul 19, 2019 at 10:01am

scorched earth policy is not for the faint of heart.

Methuselah

Jul 19, 2019 at 10:15am

"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment." - origin unknown
People learn rarely and with great difficulty, but the most effective (least ineffective?) way is through error and suffering. Fewer ever learn from success.
This is not about age, by the way. Some direct lessons are just hard to avoid. In the future, anonymity and plausible deniability are crucial in these situations.
Now you know.

21 6Rating: +15

Exit interview?

Jul 19, 2019 at 10:41am

Next time, ask if they have a policy about exit interviews. If they say they do that, then you can tell them feedback. If they have never heard of an exit interview, then I'd keep it zipped.

Not as unprofessional as the workplace

Jul 19, 2019 at 10:54am

If you felt the need to be "dramatic" to express dissatisfaction, it's only because your workplace lacked a secure trustworthy platform that is open to dissent or criticism for you to fairly vent your concerns.
A healthy place is a safe place to communicate. They failed to provide this. The violation of trust that you described also underscores that they cultivate a culture supporting these failures. Immediate superiors, supervisors, managers, project managers all failed via complicity and apathy, exacerbating the situation, creating a toxic workplace. Your inner self knew better, and most people don't expect nor know how to handle being caught in a poisonous work environment. Your self-awareness is touching, if a bit unfair to yourself. I'm sure your superiors aren't as...um...inspired to embrace accountability or things would never have degraded as they had.
Just make sure to know what kind of place you want to be at next time. Ask the right questions in your next interview to screen for red flags so you don't go from frying pan into the fire.

28 6Rating: +22

OP

Jul 19, 2019 at 6:07pm

Wow, thank you all for your kind words! I teared up reading this. I've been pretty down on myself, so it's nice to hear kind things. I have a new job lined up and made sure to assess fit better. Here's hoping it's a better fit! Thank you again. Seriously.

28 6Rating: +22

Been there

Jul 19, 2019 at 6:34pm

I was fired from a job because I let my unhappiness with the extremely toxic environment known to coworkers. At the time I was devastated because I really needed the job, but I quickly found another one that was much better. I realize now that it’s best not to trust anyone whatsoever at any company, because you just never know who is going to stab you in the back.

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